10 Oct 2014

Happy FDW, happy home


Many are engrossed in giving suggestions about how to become a good employer.  Nobody/activists are not interested to educate and show FDWs the ways to become our good helpers. 

Many employers are not demanding, do care and didn't overwork our FDWs but some bad sheeps simply cause our good image to tarnish.

Nowadays, we hear FDWs' employer pouring their woes, high agency fee yet poor maid quality, etc.  We seldom hear FDWs' employer praise their FDWs or even share what the FDW did that really touched them to the core.  It is getting more and more common to hear about unappreciative FDWs.  Activists are making FDWs behaving like hungry predators.... brainwashing FDWs those are the ways to protect and uphold their "basic rights as a human being".  What we've given them, FDWs felt they deserve by law.  It didn't cross their mind, what we've provided is much more than what they could get in their home country.

Below points, I agree with some of them.  
Example 1, I don't agree "make sure her basic needs are met - that she has a clean and comfortable room"
By law, we don't need to provide a comfortable room.  Most employers live in HDB so by offering FDW a comfortable room, do you mean we or our children should sleep in the living room if we're short of room?  Can't FDW share a clean room?

Example 2, "spends too much time on her chores and doesn't work effectively"
You've shown your FDW how to work productively and the way that is best suited for your house but FDW simply doesn't want to follow.  She spent too much time because she self-programmed to work slowly and thus, eat up her rest time.


EXPERTS:
Edmund Pooh, managing director of Universal Employment Agency
Daniel Koh, psychologist from Insights Mind Centre
Ho Shee Wai, psychologist, and director of The Counselling Place

How can you be a good employer while making sure your maid does her job well? 8 Oct 2014 AsiaOne

Helper Hitch #1
She has difficulty settling into your household and can't get along with some family members. Your helper may be having trouble assimilating into a new culture.  So make sure her basic needs are met - that she has a clean and comfortable room, and enough food, since she may not be used to the kind of food your family eats.

She may also be missing her loved ones back home, so if you sense that she feels unsettled, have a chat with her - assure her that you care about her and that she's part of the family.

Remind her that her sacrifices are worth it, and let her speak to her immediate family regularly so she feels connected to them. Getting along with everyone at home may be trickier.

With different personalities and expectations, it's not unusual for tensions to arise.

Get your helper's perspective on the situation, then suggest ways to deal with it, either by getting her to adjust her attitude or to understand what others in the family are like. Next, have a talk with the family member who's not getting along with your helper.

Emphasise the importance of harmony and compromise since you're all living under the same roof.


Helper Hitch #2
She spends too much time on her chores and doesn't work effectively.

This could be due to differing expectations: your maid may think she's doing her best, but you think otherwise because you can do it faster or your last helper was more productive.

You shouldn't compare your current helper to your previous one - it will only breed resentment and cause her to feel inadequate. Instead, go through her daily routine with her and find out how she does her chores.

Tell her how she can do things more efficiently. Never give her more than she can do.  Start with a few simple tasks and build them up when you're confident that she can manage.

Don't forget to praise her when she's done something well. This will increase her confidence, and in turn, enhance her work performance.


Helper Hitch #3
Your helper looks after your children and your elderly parents, on top of doing the household chores.

She may take her frustration out on the kids or your folks, or not make them a priority.

If she has been slack in taking care of the kids or helping your parents at home, understand that her behaviour is likely due to the frustration she feels about her daily routine - she might be overwhelmed and stressed.

Talk to her and see where you can make things more manageable for her. If she takes it out on your family verbally or physically, bring in the agency to help resolve the issue. Abuse of any kind should not be tolerated.

If the problem can't be resolved and she returns to her old ways, consider getting a new helper.


Helper Hitch #4

She doesn't follow some instructions - she usually does only 80 per cent of what you tell her to.

Be clear with your instructions and make sure she understands what you expect of her. For instance, telling her to "clean the room" is very vague.  How do you want her to clean the room? Which parts do you want cleaned?

You may also want to break down her chores into smaller and more manageable tasks, and ask her to write down your instructions so she doesn't forget them.

When she's finished, give her positive as well as constructive feedback so she does a better job next time.


Helper Hitch #5
Your helper has habits that bother you and the family. For example, she has poor personal hygiene, swears under her breath or has bad table manners.

If any of your family members behave in similar ways, tell them you will not tolerate their bad habits. Hopefully, your helper will understand that she also needs to improve.

If you wish to be more direct, speak to her one-to-one. Tell her what you've observed - that she chews with her mouth open or has poor personal hygiene - and politely request some changes.  For example, say "I would like you to make sure that you shower at least once a day, and immediately after doing outdoor work".

Be mindful of your tone and avoid accusatory statements like "You're so smelly" or "You're so rude".


Helper Hitch #6
Your helper tries to get too chummy with you and your visitors and is nosy about what goes on in the household. It's up to you to set the boundaries.

If your maid feels like she's part of the family, she'll take an interest in what goes on in the house. So sit her down and make it clear that she must respect the family's personal issues.

But before speaking to her, check that you haven't been involving her in your personal problems - that is, sharing private information with her or asking for her help with these matters.

If you have, you may be partly responsible for her behaviour. Calmly explain to her the concept and importance of boundaries.

Bring in examples, such as: "I was happy to see you taking good care of our visitors today.

But next time, after serving them drinks, leave them in the living room so that I can talk to them" or "Thanks for asking about that argument I had with my mum. It's just a normal squabble.


Helper Hitch #7
She doesn't reveal much about herself. How do you befriend her while maintaining those professional boundaries?

It takes time to form a sincere and trusting friendship. Start by asking questions about her life, family and home country. You may wish to share some of your stories too.

Involve her in outings with the family where she doesn't have to work (like a walk in the park), celebrate her birthday, occasionally buy gifts for her kids to show you care, and communicate with her even if it has nothing to do with her chores.

Once she sees that you value her as a person, she'll be more likely to open up and have greater respect for you.

If you're afraid to befriend her for fear of losing your authority, just remember that if there is respect, no authority is needed - because there'll be an unspoken understanding between you.


Helper Hitch #8
She can't focus on her work because she's had bad news from home (like a natural disaster or a death in the family) or has marital or financial difficulties.

Put yourself in her shoes. Understand that she needs to heal or grieve, and give her the time and space to do so.  She may be feeling helpless, hopeless, guilty, panicked, lost, stressed or confused. These emotions can take up a lot of physical and mental energy. Offer a listening ear.

Show her that you are genuinely concerned about what she's going through, and see how you can help - financially or otherwise. If she's still affected months later, try signing her up for a professional counselling session.


Helper Hitch #9
She doesn't speak up when something goes wrong, for fear of being scolded.

Let your helper know that she can go to you even if she's made a mistake - like accidentally breaking something in the house, or if your child or elderly parent fell and hurt themselves while she was looking after them.

Reassure her that you will not send her back or complain to her agency, and explain why it's important to keep you informed. When she does open up to you about a problem, notice how you react.

Do you fly off the handle or hurl accusations? Do you make her feel bad that she's coming to you with a problem? If that is how you act, then it's only natural that she wouldn't want to speak up.

Focus instead on how she can avoid making similar mistakes in the future.


Helper Hitch #10
She doesn't take the initiative. She always waits for your instructions, even for the simplest tasks.

Your maid may not feel empowered because her agency told her to do only as she's told, or her previous employer didn't like it when she took the initiative.

If you'd like her to be more proactive, tell her. You can ask for her opinion on how to do certain things.  For example, say: "I would like you to reorganise the store room today. Can you think of the best way to get everything neat and tidy?"

Make her feel that she is capable of performing those tasks. When she does them, praise her efforts.

9 Oct 2014

Maids (FDWs) finding LOVE in Spore

Read more
Content page - All topics


Lianhe Wanbao/AsiaOne, 9 Oct 2014
Suspecting Filipino maid-girlfriend is a double timer, boyfriend gathered his friend to teach her a lesson.  These two men filmed themselves physically and verbally abusing the woman and uploaded the whole process online.  They also constantly swear at her and even insult her by asking her crude questions.  Both men hit the woman, pulling her hair and even punching her back, all while filming the incident.

怀疑菲佣女友劈腿,男友找来帮手当面对质,在大庭广众多次打头、捶背、扯发,百般恐吓,还拍下录像放上网。




Foreign worker loses appeal against life sentence for murdering his lover, an Indonesian maid, TODAY, 20 Aug 2014

A Bangladeshi construction worker, who was convicted of murder, had escaped the hangman’s noose — but he still wanted to appeal against the sentence, which will see him being locked away behind bars for life.  In making his appeal yesterday, Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 40, who was unrepresented, told the Court of Appeal — Singapore’s final appeal court — that his family misses him.

However, the court, led by Judge of Appeal Andrew Phang, dismissed Kamrul’s appeal, saying that his 
sentence could not be reduced as it was the “minimum” punishment for his charge.  Kamrul was convicted in 2010 of murdering his 25-year-old Indonesian girlfriend, Yulia Afriyanti, who worked here as a maid.  Yulia’s naked body was found in December 2007 in a cardboard box in a unit of the Viz@Holland condominium, which was then 
under construction.

Last year, Kamrul was sentenced to life imprisonment and also ordered to receive 10 strokes of the cane.  Kamrul is the fourth convicted murderer to be given a life sentence, instead of the death penalty.

Maid Yulia was probably clothed when attacked and her clothes removed later. This was forensic pathologist Gilbert Lau's view yesterday during Day Two of Indonesian maid Yulia Afriyanti's murder trial.

On the morning of 16 Dec 2007, Yulia's naked body was found in a large cardboard box at a bomb shelter-cum-storeroom in a third-storey unit at a condominium construction site at Queensway, near Holland Road.  Her lover, construction worker Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 35, is accused of murdering her.

He faces the death penalty if found guilty.
According to autopsy and crime scene reports, Yulia's body was mostly dry, except for bloodstains on her face and lower limbs.  Her upper and lower back and buttocks had a few particles of dust and building materials.  When asked about the pool of blood at the base of the box where Yulia's body was found, Assoc Prof Lau said that probably happened after she was moved to the box.  He said Yulia had probably bled a little from her nostrils and mouth during and after the attack, but lost more blood later, after she was put in the box.

Assoc Prof Lau said that most of the maid's injuries, especially those found on the underside of her chin, the underside of her jaw and her neck, would have been inflicted while she was being strangled and trying to resist her attacker.  He reiterated that several injuries, like a blood clot around her left eye and a fracture around her left lower eyelid, suggested her attacker had also hit or punched her.  When asked about a graze found on the right side of Yulia's chest, extending from her right collarbone to her right nipple, he said that could have occurred when she fell or was pushed onto the floor or any other rough and hard surface.  Assoc Prof Lau also said the abrasions on Yulia's genitals were relatively fresh, indicating she could have had sex between 4.15am on 15Dec and 4.15am the following day.

The crime scene report said no drag marks were seen on the floor of the master bedroom where the bomb shelter-cum-storeroom was located.

Kamrul met Yulia at a social gathering, introduced by a mutual friend in 2005.  They became intimate a year later in January 2007, and would meet once or twice a month.In September the same year, she told her employers and friends that she was returning to Indonesia and would be marrying Kamrul there.  But a month later, the marriage was called off. Yulia confided in her employers that Kamrul was already married in Bangladesh with two children.

A love triangle with Kamrul and Joseph.
Yulia's number was given to the above, 25-year old Joseph Guerzon Corpuza, a Filipino construction worker here, in early October 2007.  He called her on that very day and they made plans to meet on her day off on Sunday, October 14.They spent the afternoon at the East Coast Park before window shopping at City Plaza. He then took her to her employer's house at Grange Heights. She told him that she had a boyfriend (Kamrul) but had returned to Bangladesh.

Their relationship blossomed. They too became intimate, planned to marry but she never broke up with Kamrul. They continued their frequent and intimate telephone conversations.  Beside Sundays' meetings, he would sometimes travel from Boon Lay to Grange Heights to meet her when she walked her employer's dog at the condominium at 8 pm every night. They had sexual relationship in November despite Yulia's fear of getting pregnant again. The pregnancy was aborted. He was not informed who the father was.


Winter:  Above used his family misses him to appeal against life sentence for murder.  Missing family is really a fantastic excuse for foreign workers, including FDWs.  

Missing family, lonely means maids can find love and men without bearing any responsibility?  Maid killed by her lover means her family cannot see or touch her forever.... is it worth?  You laid your life for love?

Read:  Foreign love turns fatal in S'pore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, some maids were cheated but do they deserve our sympathy?  Could be their body or money cheated but who should bear the blame?  Employers?  Why not FDW 100% responsible for all her actions?
Did your employer force you to find man?  
Did your employer tie you up and force you to board the plane to work in Spore?  Maids can't stand loneliness or separation from their loved ones should be their own fault!  Maids made the decision to work in Spore as FDWs - maids chose the best route to make more money.

If maid can't work diligently as a FDW for at least 2 years, use excuse that she is lonely and need love, at the expense of your employer, is this fair?  FDWs, please stay in your home country and find as much love as you want there.  Why disguise yourself as maid and work here?  Yes, you miss your family and sex life but weren't these considered before you decide to work as FDW?  You are not a child or brainless person when you stepped into your home country agency.

Maids in below case, you asked for it and deserved punishment 老天有 眼, 人在做天在看, 报应!  Finding Love or Sex is not the right method to show or prove you're a human being/woman and be respected.  There are many better ways to 'cure your loneliness'. 

Why stoop so low?  Using men to show your values and self-worth, then bring miseries to your employers? Is this what a responsible and person with dignity does?

Did man who set up Facebook maid support group do it for sex? The New Paper, 10 Aug 2014

A man who started a support group for troubled maids on Facebook is now accused of using it to have sex with them.  At least four maids claimed they had sex with him and posted about it on the group's Facebook wall.
One of them, Filipina Angel Yash Reynoso, 29, even claimed he made her pregnant and then insisted she go for an abortion. Instead, she decided to return to the Philippines, where she gave birth to the baby boy in February.

The Facebook group, known as "SHEG. MAID Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction - For Employers & Maids", was started in December 2012 by someone who calls himself Mahal Jat on the social media site.

SHEG stands for Secular Humanitarian Egalitarian Group.
The group purportedly serves to "espouse the cause of furthering the rights" of foreign domestic workers here.  It has more than 86,000 members and the creator often posts about maids' issues at work and also useful information such as Manpower Ministry and migrant worker groups helplines.

Maids would share work-related problems and other members would comment.
Sometimes, they post links to articles on issues concerning maids.

However, in May this year, Miss Angel posted on the group's wall, saying that the man is the father of her child. A few others, who claimed to have had sex with him, soon followed.  These posts were removed from the Facebook page almost immediately and those who posted were blocked from the group, said Miss Angel. Maids who claimed to fall for Mr "Mahal's" sweet-talking told TNP that he told them he was married to a Singaporean, but is divorced with a nine-year-old son.

According to the maids, he is a 42-year-old permanent resident here who holds Australian citizenship and lives in a condominium at Paya Lebar.
His LinkedIn account indicates that he has a doctorate in business administration.  When TNP contacted Mr "Mahal", he called these allegations mere rumours started by "trouble-makers", but declined to say more. He initially agreed to meet TNP for an interview, but changed his mind and has been uncontactable since.

TNP also spoke to Mr "Mahal's" friend, Mr Johare Mohamed, who showed us a Facebook conversation he claims he had with Mr "Mahal" regarding the maids' allegations.  Mr "Mahal" allegedly wrote: "If women throw themselves at me and ask for date, and I tell them I cannot marry, cannot give long term relationship, and they willingly want to date despite zero promises and me making everything clear up front, then it's casual date only.  "I do not chase women. If they throw themselves at me, even if I make clear I have nothing to give, then no one has right to make gossip or use wrong words, brother."

The reply shocked and upset Mr Johare, 37, a security officer, who has lodged a police report against Mr "Mahal".  The security officer had joined the group half a year ago as he agreed with the cause Mr "Mahal" championed - maids' rights. Said Mr Johare: "He's a leader of the group, yet he did these things behind everyone's back."

Mr Johare met with Mr Jolovan Wham, the executive director of the Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home). He and his wife, who wanted to be known only as Jenny, showed Mr Wham screengrabs of his conversation with Mr "Mahal", as well as the police report that Mr Johare had lodged against him.  They found out from Mr Wham that he had already been approached by Mr "Mahal" about the allegations.

Said Madam Jenny: "He (Mr Wham) told me to just make noise on the Facebook page and tell the other foreign domestic workers to be more aware."

Miss Angel Yash Reynoso received a Facebook friend request from "Mahal Jat" in February last year.  After chatting online for two months, he asked to meet the 29-year-old.

"When I tested positive, I was so shocked. I told him about it, but he asked me to take Cytotec."  Cytotec induces a miscarriage.  "I felt so hurt. I did not want to abort the baby. I'd rather die than to do that," she told TNP.  What hurt her even more was the way he denied being the father of her baby, she added.

She had held him in high regard because of his advocacy of foreign domestic worker rights in the Facebook group.  She showed TNP screengrabs of a text message exchange that she claimed took place between Mr "Mahal" and her friend who confronted him. He had said: "I told you already I don't have anything to do with her and her unwanted child. Don't invent similarities with me." In hindsight, she felt she should have been more cautious. She said: "I will not trust any guy easily anymore. It's just sweet talk."

He comforted me, then we had sex in tent
When she had sex with him for the first time in a tent at Pasir Ris Park, she did it because she was in love.  But two months on, she realised that she was just one of several women in Mr "Mahal Jat's" life.  The Indonesian maid, who wanted to be known only as Carrie, first became Facebook friends with him last October, shortly after joining the Facebook group.  "At that time, I was depressed because my then-boyfriend was cheating on me. I felt very comfortable with "Mahal" as he would always comfort me when I was down," the 29-year-old told The New Paper.

After a month, they met up for the first time.
She was smitten, but steered clear of him after that because "he had many girlfriends". Miss Carrie said she held Mr "Mahal" in high regard because she thought he was related to migrant worker group Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home), convinced by the Home-related information he posted, and a photo he put online of him and a Home staff member.

The pair met again in May, after she broke up with her then-boyfriend.
"We decided to meet at Pasir Ris Park because we both like the beach. He brought a tent along. He told me he had checked the weather forecast, which said it would rain.  "At that time, I thought it was for protection (from the rain). I didn't think much about it," Miss Carrie said. They had sex in the tent that day.  "I thought he really loved me, after we did it," said Miss Carrie.

But she started receiving Facebook messages from different members saying that Mr "Mahal" has been telling them they are sexy. "When I found out, I got jealous and confronted him," she said.  But, she claimed, he called her vulgar names and accused her of using him.  "He told me he won't let me destroy his name or use his name for popularity.  "After that day, I got really fed up. I told myself that I will never contact this man again," she said.

When TNP contacted Mr Jolovan Wham of the Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home), he declined to comment on Mr "Mahal's" alleged actions as he did not know him, but confirmed that he is not connected to Home. Mr Wham also confirmed that Mr "Mahal" had messaged him on Facebook, saying that there are people spreading rumours about him.

After learning that some maids had given their Facebook passwords and work permit numbers to Mr "Mahal", Mr Wham advised them to be more careful when it comes to giving out their personal information.
Mr "Mahal" had allegedly asked for their passwords so that he could add other maids to the Facebook group.  Dr Noorashikin Abdul Rahman, who is on the executive committee of Transient Workers Count Too, said that while the Internet is a good source of knowledge, it could be harmful for those who are less discerning.


Facebook maid's comment:
Judith Angel Abrera:  I am absolutely not agree about what this man did to the women for making them fall inlove with him, but they know that he is married at the very first place, why then they still want to have relationship with him? I think lets not point all the blame to that man, this women whom he had relationship has fault too, knowing that his married and yet they have sex with him.


Maybellg May Bel:  Maybe he want make some fun with Fdw and make groups so that he can makes with all of them who are wanted to join !


Joan Damas Peralata:  I managed to buy this news paper I want to read it, I can't believed that SHEG MAID JOB NOT CONNECTED TO HOME


Hlongwane Sipho:  i onces member of that page but they blocked me due to i commented heavy loaded that maybe hits their ego. That is just a fun page nothing to serious


Tiffany Nip:  If he is as innocent as what all those naive women claims he is, don't delete the posts or comments. Don't banned the people trying to create awareness. Truth will prevail isn't it so?


Maeda Ayaka:  So far i join this group dont have problem. As Long we can control ourself and be alert to any love scam.why should i worry.. A lot indonesian men try to be friend with me also bad they pretending love and going marry me the end they want only money


Darlene Hope Cainglet DonaireL  I havent meet those man ever since but this accusation is so unfair...they character assassinate to destroy those man.to that girl who alleged that she had sex into him you are just putting yourself on a shame...did those man force you to perform sex with you? as what you have said you are the one who has dating and making love with him inside d tent so you're after for what? and to those lady who alleged that they had a child its like your fault because at the first place you know that he is married man...you guys stop it...you are putting our name on a shamed as an ofw. sorry po.



I have extracted quite a number of comments that were find in the page of MJ.  The identity of MJ is Mahal Jat, a person who claimed to be an Indian expat cum FDW's employer.  He is one of the admin for a Facebook group, -“SHEG. Maid Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction – For employers and maids”, in English.  I tried to browse SHEG but found a lot of pages were gone (closed). SHEG in Filipino language is still available but I don't understand so unable to translate.   

Then I stumbled upon this:
Mahal Jat, Preying on foreign domestic workers for sex through Facebook group?
His Facebook support group was meant to provide information to foreign domestic workers (FWDs) in Singapore. But he is now being accused of using it to lure the FDWs into having sex with him, with one claiming that she has borne him a child as a result.

Mahal Jat, whom the FDWs The Online Citizen (TOC) spoke to said he claimed to be from India and Australia, started the Faceook public group, “SHEG. Maid Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction – For employers and maids”, in December 2012.  To date, it has garnered over 86,000 “likes”.

Since the accusations against Mahal Jat emerged, however, the page’s status has been changed to a closed group.  The group describes the Facebook page as a platform “where FDW meet each other to help each other with advice, information and advocacy.”  “There is no office, no managers, no leader, only SELF-LEADERS,” the page says. “Each member is encouraged to become a SELF-LEADER. Any member can help fellow members via the wall, Any member can seek help by posting on the wall.”

It encouraged FDWs & employers to “discuss FDW related issues, post job/helper wanted advert on the wall without transfer fee & salary deductions.”

Apparently, the FDWs found the page very helpful, and started to use it to interact with one another on various matters which concerned them, mostly about employment regulations, work-related problems. They also at times arrange meet-ups offline.

The controversy over Mahal Jat’s behaviour surfaced in May this year, when Filipina Angel Yash Reynoso, 29, posted on the wall of SHEG’s Facebook page that Mahal Jat had fathered her baby.  Her posts were shortly removed from the Facebook wall.

Mahal Jat reportedly denied being the man responsible for her pregnancy, and told Angel Yash Reynoso to abort the baby, which she refused.  Angel Yash Reynoso decided to return to the Philippines instead.  FDWs who are pregnant are required to leave Singapore.  Angel Yash Reynoso gave birth to her baby in February this year.  She, however, is not the only FDWs who say that Mahal Jat had used the Facebook page to have sex with them.

At least four other FDWs have stepped forward to accuse him of this.  A FDW (whom we shall name ‘M’) who is in touch with some of the women involved told TOC that she believes that there are more than four women who have had sex with Mahal Jat through the Facebook group. M told TOC that Mahal Jat, because of the help the Facebook page rendered to FDWs, was trusted by the FDWs and they looked up to him.

“Everybody thought he was a hero, helping the FDWs,” M said.  Some of them apparently fell in love with him too.  One had gone to Pasir Ris with Mahal Jat – which M said was “Mahal’s style” when going out with the FDWs – and had had sex with him in a tent, because she was in love with him.  But she soon realised that she was just one of many women in Mahal Jat’s life.  She said she had met Mahal Jat at a time when she was depressed after a break-up with her boyfriend.

“I felt very comfortable with Mahal as he would always comfort me when I was down,” the press reported her as having said.  She said she regarded Mahal highly because she thought he worked for the non-governmental organisation, Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (HOME).

After she and Mahal had had sex in the tent in Pasir Ris beach, she said she thought he really cared for her. Unfortunately, she soon found out from other women on the Facebook group that Mahal Jat had also wooed them.  “When I found out, I got jealous and confronted him,” she said.

She says Mahal Jat instead turned it around and accused her of using him, and he even used vulgarities on her.  As for Angel Yash Reynoso, she had met Mahal Jat through Facebook in February last year. After several subsequent meet-ups, she became pregnant.  When she told Mahal Jat about it, his first reaction was to tell her, “Abort it.”  “I felt so hurt. I did not want to abort the baby. I’d rather die than to do that,” she told The New Paper.

Angel Yash Reynoso, who had been working in Singapore for 12 years then, chose to return to the Philippines instead – and according to M, is planning to return to Singapore, now that she has given birth to her baby.  She, like others, had held Mahal Jat in high regard because of his advocacy work supporting FDWs.  “I will not trust any guy easily anymore,” she said. “It’s just sweet talk.”


The news is now the talk of the town among the FDW community, with some sharing their views on it on other online groups, such as Mingle In Singapore.
MJ

When approached by the newspapers, Mahal Jat denied all the charges and accusations which he said were started by “trouble-makers”.  Mahal Jat has since become uncontactable.  A friend of his, Johare Mohamed, says that in a Facebook conversation with him, Mahal Jat had placed the blame on the women.

Mahal Jat allegedly said:
“If women throw themselves at me and ask for a date, and I tell them I cannot marry, cannot give long term relationship, and they willingly want to date despite zero promises, and me making everything clear up front, then it’s casual date only.  “I do not chase women. If they throw themselves at me, even if I make clear I have nothing to give, then no one has right to make gossip or use wrong words, brother.”


HOME, in the meantime, confirmed that Mahal Jat is not connected to the organisation.




I have commented somewhere in this blog, MJ behaved like an expat and teaching FDWs the wrong things, eg claiming local employers easily earned S$5000 per month and it is not wrong of FDWs to demand higher salary from us.  It is bad that MJ is taking advantage of FDWs who are finding love. FDWs are to be blamed.  If you had behaved properly, work as a domestic helper (not somebody holidaying or sex deprived) and doesn't have such enormous craving for man (lonely), would such thing happen?  

FDWs find excuses (with the guidance of activists and MOM) to get involved with men in order to satisfy their desire to be loved while working as FDW .... very lonely and depressing to work as maid.  When a maid gets pregnant, the man 奸夫/姘头 can choose to disappear and stay totally clean.  If a maid has to be repatriated, her employer pays for her air ticket ... suffers the losses, not forgetting additional time needed and new agency fees to recruit a replacement. 

MOM hasn't been kind to employers.  We were strongly advised to treat maids like human beings, show respect to them, don't restrain them, give them freedom, give weekly off days (to rest, not find men), etc but when bad things happen, employers have to bear the risks and losses.  Why so unfair?  

FDWs are grown up, shouldn't maids be held fully responsible for what they did as well as pay employers compensation for their wilfulness or misbehaviour?  Maids get to enjoy, have fun at the expense of their unfortunate employers = fair?

Why treat employers like ATM machines, leave us stranded and be bullied? 
Maids are not shameful about what they did because MOM/agency/activists educated them wrongly.  Look at the pro-maid, pro-source country and pro-agency policies that I've highlighted.  Existing policies will not make FDWs learn to be good and responsible helpers.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winter:  Who pays for FDW's medical fee - getting into a fight and ended up injured or killed?  You thought the maid pays?  
Employers are required by pro-maid MOM to PAY for things that are not their fault!  

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal posted on MJ's Facebook (18 Jul 2014):
My coworkers friend been at lucky plaza last Sunday....
And witnessed that there are two helper filipina who are fighting bcoz of common bf....
Now the other filipina goes hospital and damage her Spinal cord........how can she work now....
Reflection...
If ever one here same situation pls remember....dont fight over the bf instead throw the bf not deserving to fight....
And be a friend to the other woman bcoz u both fooled by the same man.....


Reich Delos Santos:   I just saw it cause im a passer by...the police officer are there to fetch the lady...disgusting


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal Ok....thanks for your info....
Though we dont like to get on peoples business ...hope this share, can learn some lesson and remind us all that work and health is more important than a bf....we all here for work just a reminder....
We must know our priorities....there are life back home defend on us hoping there life gets better through our work here.....


Maris Cabantoc Cabus:  Make ur BF just 4 past time,,don't be serious,so funny they fighting bcoz of man..I can't imagine!


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:   Maris ....people are not same thinking...so sometimes they are out of control by thier emotions....and expectations..... this in not first time happen few years back too...i read in newspaper related situations too....


Glenda De Jesus Agustin:  Maybe they are aunties already lol. but anyway we must not do that,there are so many guys around singapore..if the bf have other change it hahahaha just kidding


Michelle Waltl:  ja... im also looking my xf flipina in singapur..who also pay for hotel and foods fro bangla bf... i was shocked..but she said its her happiness.  i dont understand if they fight and spent money for that stuff


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  Michelle I guess those kind desperate of love....its the only person they feel being loved and cherish so they do such things......those who really want to experience being loved....

There are people who wish for that unconditional love specially when anything around are stress and struggles....so if they can feel the love by spending the money and they feel happiness thats why they chose that way....thats only my views...


Michelle Waltl:  i respect your point...but sometime i can also say its living in fantasy world,, happiness built inside our own choices so maybe this is the way to do and make them happy...


Maris Cabantoc Cabus:  She's so cheap filipina lady, she can spend money to rent hotel nd buy food just for bangla?hahaha


Reich Delos Santo: s The thing is you must love yourself,before anything else...so the dignity.of.Filipina.were.always.on top...just stop doing foolishness...ya llah desprate...


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  Michelle u are right...someday they will realize it just let them enjoy the ride of life....
will thats her choice....of way...she is happier to give and give and recieve the love she expects.......
those kind are in learning process people sometimes wont even listen until they will experience it already....


Maris Cabantoc Cabus:  Maybe that lady her standard is very low,hehe!


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  Maris that kind never learn yet what is real life, what really matters in life, but our family matters most they are always behind us we may in better or worse...they support and accept us unconditionally....


Ping Sumayo:  fighting for a boyfriend oh my,where is there dignity and self respect. poor ladies.


Corpuz Hilda:  This is stupid..two womans fighting in public bcoz of undeserving bf......we came to work here inorder to elivate the condition of our family...not to do such things ... fghting over a man! What a pitty....they never think about the circumstances...now what happen...one has been hospitalised!!! Omg


Vanessa Garcia:  NICE POSTED ...this will help us to be more popular we are aware already in what was going around us i hope this will enlighten us not to discriminate us nice comments keep up


Mitch M. Pasaway:  There's nothing wrong for having a bf here because it's not against the MOm laws, as long as we know our limitations and don't fight over bf only because it's such a disgusting attitudes, if your bf got other girl just let him go and ask her to keep him and no need to risk your life for this kinds of guy.


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:   I guess having a bf and getting pregnant are illegal...right....


Vanessa Garcia:  if u are not sure sis Jogie i will tell u having bf is not illegal but getting pregnant will be the cause that the fdw will send back home and blacklist ok?


Mitch M. Pasaway: Having bf is not illegal and getting pregnant can be a reason so that the fdw will send back home and can be blacklisted but it's depends to the employer also.


Corpuz Hilda:  Having a bf is allowed but it depends if your employer is allowed also...but be careful not to get pregnant coz if the mom founds out that you are pregnant..not only you are get into trouble your employer as well so be careful!


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  My agency before told that having relation to any foreign people are not allowed


Shazzed Hossain I'm drawing attention of those person who fall in love without knowing well about the person.


Corpuz Hilda:  Well it is because some man or even a woman are hiding their true identities....this is called life abroad!
Hmmm...i notice that some are not interested of knowing ones identity... coz having in relationship abroad mostly they called it for fun to avoid homesickness...after one of them is going home to their country of origin it will considered the relationship is over....they are just being practical...need someone during their financial needs...so your true identity is not necessary at all!!


Dane Montano:  People do that is nonsense they use their emotion first than their mind.


Mitch M. Pasaway:  They should fight with the boy and not fight with each other because they are both pinays, if I'm the girl I rather slap the guy face and go away.


Joannie Araneta That is right, fighting for nonsense.. That's what u call stupidity, sorry for the offense meant but we are talking about reality/fact.


Leonor Padillo Itong:  I think its not about bf but about money,,


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  Leonor you been there.....thats what my coworker told me that ncoz of bf....so I post it here if someone knows the true reason....just correct it if IM WRONG.....THANKS
When we judge a person we are not defining the person but we define ourselves of who we are..... words never been spoken without going through first in the mind.......


Leonor Padillo Itong:  My cousin been there ,,its about money coz the deceased lend money to other girl
According to the friend of the deceased the other girl order things but she didn't pay so when the deceased saw the other girl in tangs then thats the start of argument!!!RIP for the deceased!


Aneth D. Nazareno:  So means she died? Oh my God ! So its not about men lah! I cannot understand why they end up in a fight physically! We all earn money for living but we should know to pay back whenever we borrowed someone money! I just want to say if you borrowed for your family,nobody critize you but sometimes i have a lot of friends and relatives never pay me but i see them keep posting in fb what they have,,i just feel sorry for myself! I believe their sin is not my sin! No matter what they have now still end with nothing,why need to cheat of people? Im very sick to this kind of human! But still praying that keep me safe and strong to help the needy! Cheater is no life reminder to all


Leonor Padillo Itong:  As my cousin told me the girl who borrow the money didnt pay the time she promise to give it back... Yeah they say she's die brain hemorrhage
According to my cousin the girl who have "otang" accidentally push the other girl then the back of the neck knock on the floor so got unconscious
They say they call ambulance coz the eye just open but can't talk,next day she passed away according to them


Vanessa Garcia:  Gossip can lead us in many troubles if we don't know exactly the real story don't judge the person it doesn't mean u witnessed they are fighting and result to the death is you know the reason coz you dont know them personally becarefull in posting must be the real story


Hanika Peñano:  Some other person even they have money but they want to borrow a money to others its like a habit that cant control...so this happen is a warning to all of us that we should not trust regarding of money matter...especially the person that very difficult to pay...


Mimi Bareng:  Im so sad about this topic why so rude that someone need to end life why you should fight like a child on a money matters which you can talk about it we all came here to earn money not to end our life or end someone life for a money im really sad to read about this post:-(... now who suffer the consequences our country and both parties who fight for the worthless penny...very shameful! It maybe an accident but it's not acceptable accident its very rude behavior pushing someone in a crowded place or anywhere which you can be calm and talk about it maybe there's a reason why she cannot pay the "utang"....i feel so sad for both of you girls and to your families they are the one who suffer most.....PLEASE EVERYONE HERE AVOID THIS TO HAPPEN TO EACH OF US LETS BE CALM AND PATIENT IF THIS MATTER WILL HAPPEN TO US IN THE FUTURE TO AVOID THIS TRAGIC INCIDENT.....Condolence to the family of the deceased girl


Mimi Bareng:  we cannot trust anybody here but because we are came in the same country which culture is kind,caring and loving we understand each other's problems and troubles but its just some people are abusive specially in money sometimes so if a person is hard headed to pay their utang just sued them go to court do the legal way not fight like a ferocious animals cause we are not animals let's prove them that we are educated ......please fellow peace no fighting....i pray that this situation will never never happened again


Glenda De Jesus Agustin:  Me somebody have utang 350$ 4months already,i lend her because she need it urgently,but this filipina never pay me...im sooo angry,i sms her no reply,i call her never answer...im really pissed off i wanted to go to their house to scold her,but i control my self..i just bear in mind that it is just a small money. Karma is always there to help me.


Leonor Padillo Itong:   Really really hard to trust anyone when it comes to money even though she/he is ur friend....


Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  miss Glenda the one who ddnt pay u and as if hiding from u...if dont pay you really just leave it u just can earn money....but dignity cannot be earn .....and once damage done never we cant reverse it back....but there is no nxt time for the utang....once is enough....God will give u back in different ways u never know....better to give than the one who beg.....karma will paid full and with interest...you are still blessed....u have the kind heart.....God bless u more...

Thats whats my friend here told me before I start here she said dont trust anyone who lend u money even they are ur friends...bcoz mostly they dont pay and u know already they come back home......
Lets all be learned this...we may selfish thinking but we earn our money through hard work......


Aneth D. Nazareno:  Yehey can we have a group for hug hug,,the worst u see them in fb enjoying their money and if u ask cannot pay not enough till at the end u tired asking and u shameful to yourself keep asking your own money and people just they take it easy! They are some thick skin! Leave them! Always think money can finish but they cannot replace their face from others


Ezeth Bautista:  So we must be avoids some troublesome here in Singapore we came here to work not to find problems and illegal business also or find boyfrnd some more.


Cheche Demayo Valero:  Sometimes we cnt ign0re s0me0ne who need our help ,m0st of all if it is emergency . If she help u d0nt hide c0z she has a kindhearted to help. If u cnt pay tell it directly ,be frank.. We work hre to supp0rt our family to buy what we want. What u need is also what she need. .


Cecilia Torres:  "EXACTLY" they just make u fool... the stupid pinay also , so shameful girl.... i dn't know why some of our co-pinay here never use the brain at all... how stupid.. dn't use ur ass girls... hahay


Glenda De Jesus Agustin:  Having an affair is not a problem,the problem is when we can't concentrate our works already,always on the phone..sometimes go out without any permission to employers...

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal:  Miss Glenda yeah i fully agree with u....my coworker done it before and even stole money for top up...bcoz she is like crazy if cannot call the bf....

She is not filipina....
Mom of my employer send her back to agency...without prior notice in an instant go back agency,.she dont know how to top up she needs another neighbor helper to assist her...imagine 28$ every other day top up....where she get the money she bought S2 before she had salary....


Siti Aisyah:  I have 2 friend philippine borrow money from me until now they never pay back they just ignore me without word I just let it go GOD know what we do


Leonor Padillo Itong:  Don't say stupidity sometimes we can't control our anger,,,just imagine u trust ur friend to lend money but the time u need it she just ignore u??? That money u hard earned not just u pick up somewhere!!


Above 'story' started off as a love triangle but turned out, it was a case of borrowed money but refused to return.  When comes to money, it is very sensitive, be it FDW with employer or FDW and her friends.  My money doesn't drop from the sky nor given by PAP, it is thru hard work, same for FDWs... you come here to get paid for work done, your services are not free.  Don't come here with your 'happiness in employers hands - fully responsible for your whines' theory ... eg finding boyfriends, become sex partners, etc.  

If you thought you purposely offered poor services, can ski your way thru without being reprimanded/detected and expect employer to pay you without feeling frustrated ... would you pay happily if you're the employer? Nobody wants our hard earned money to fall into bad hands (agencies, FDWs, source countries)... do you want?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FDWs who come here to earn a living for their family back home, should put their mind to work.  If the intention is to come here for the good life, they should self pay a holiday.  Don't come here to pollute Spore in the name of boredom, earn easy money and cannot live without men!  Behave and work professionally if you're a high class and responsible human being 禽兽 没有人类思维。 若欲望高的离谱,你应该当妓而不是帮佣, 一举两得. 

If FDWs need men, full of complaints about her FDW job, feel that FDW is a form of slavery/time consuming job, you should be prostitute ... you get loved by men and earn 'open leg' money ...  You don't need to slog more than 8 hours to work each day!  You came here as FDW and enjoyed live-in benefits + demand for love at your employer's expense, purposely doing a disservice to your employer, is this pardonable?  

If you're the employer, your maid did this to you, do you feel this is fair? 
If you're the husband of such a maid, how do you feel?  Forgive her?  She's a human and sending some money home (silence your mouth) so what she did is no big deal?
If your mother left you to work in Spore, cheated your father and you, how do you feel?  She is 伟大 selfless, dignified and a great mum? 

You don't feel shameful to have such a wife or mother?  If you chose to be a prostitute and seek your family's understanding, I don't think you are in the wrong to earn such 'lustful' money.  Using FDW as an undercover is despicable!  This is deceiving and you made your employers go thru unnecessary headaches/losses.  You are selfish and self-centred.  If any activist/minister says it is alright, it is part of being a human being or a form of de-stress, tell them to hire you!  Don't just preach at somebody else's expense.

MOM/PAP loves foreigner, maybe can pair up couples so that they can live-out at their own costs.  Husband can be a construction worker that is, a lower level Work Permit holder (WP is issued to foreign unskilled workers.  S pass holder - mid skilled, earns a minimum salary of S$2,200. EP holder - Professional foreigner,  earns at least $3,300 is what we classified as foreign talent) and the wife is a FDW.  They have no excuse to say they are lonely and needed 'forbidden love'.  

S'poreans against maids bringing boyfriends home, AsiaOne/The Straits Times, 18 Jun 2014

Employers' top three peeves about their maids, Mypaper, 16 June 2014
Bringing boyfriends home, stealing and hitting the children are the top three complaints employers make about their maids, major agencies here told The Straits Times.

These complaints are lodged with the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), which receives an average of about 200 complaints a month, a spokesman said yesterday, in response to queries.

Agents say most maids with a complaint against them are not hired here again. Orange Employment agency owner Shirley Ng said: "They won't get a second chance to work in Singapore."  Best Home Employment agency owner Tay Khoon Beng said: "Most employers won't even call the previous employer to find out more. They just say no."


http://news.asiaone.com/news/singapore/bringing-home-boyfriends-key-gripe-about-maids

Maids in relationships - right or wrong?
The New Paper, 2012
The following are replies sent in by readers of TNP.

Akame Charis - Maids need to socialise too
As a domestic helper myself, I understand the need for a social life.  Thankfully, my employers do not interfere with my personal life - they give me space to hang out with my gals or to meet someone special.


N. Magdala - Maids must be prudent
Having a relationship is not wrong because maids are people too, and we have our needs.  However, maids who do so should be smart about it.

Do not be flirty although there are many Bangladeshi and Indian guys who may make eyes at you. In fact, I feel upset with the way some maids behave, for example, bringing the man into the employer's home and wearing skimpy clothes.  Such people spoil the name of other maids who are here to make a decent living.


Azli Talip - Who's responsible when things go wrong?
The question of domestic workers having a relationship is tied to the issue of giving them weekly days off as has been announced.  The likelihood is that more time off means more time for mixing around and forming relationships.  Even if both areas were all right - maids are people too - there are those who behave unprofessionally.  For instance, there are those who interrupt work to make calls to their boyfriend, ignoring housework or the small child they are paid to look after.

Will the authorities and voluntary agencies in support of such workers take responsibility for any untoward incidents?


Zulkarnain Muhammad - Spare thought for employers
Much voice has been given to the plight of maids.  Spare a thought for the difficulties employers face when bad things happen.

For example, if the maid is found pregnant, the family employing her has to go through the process of getting a new maid and training her all over again.  This takes time. Some of us have little leave as it is and having to use up the days for this is not fair to employers. Anyone thought of this?

Some have said that employers should accept that foreign domestic workers should have a love life, talk to them about sex and set conditions for them to abide by.  Really? How are we supposed to be responsible for their having safe sex with their partner - or partners?

My point is simple: People who come here to earn a living for their family back home, should put their mind to work.  If the intention is to come here for the good life, they should take a holiday.


Yun Cang You - Depends on maids' maturity
Maids having relationships - right or wrong?  This depends on the maturity of the maid as well as how she handles herself.

The employer-maid relationship is a two-way street.  If the maid has shown herself to be responsible, she should be treated as an "extension" of the family, with various aspects of her needs - including relationships - met.


Maid has void deck 'date' -- when she's supposed to be looking after elderly person in wheelchair  STOMP, 17 May 2014

Stomper Esther spotted this maid on a void deck rendezvous with a man when she was supposed to be caring for an elderly charge in a wheelchair.
According to the Stomper, the elderly person was made to face away from the two and was ignored for more than an hour.

The Stomper wrote:
"This incident happened at the void deck of Block 122 Geylang East Central on May 13, Tuesday, at 1.10pm.  "I believe the helper was supposed to take care of the elderly person who was seated in the wheel chair.

"Apparently, she is seen behaving intimately with a man, ignoring the elderly who was left in the wheel chair for more than an hour.  "The helpless elderly was facing the opposite direction so that he/she would not be able to see what is happening between the helper and the man.

"I feel sorry for the elderly as this is not the first time I encounter this incident.
"I am enraged with the irresponsible behaviour of some helpers.
"The employers trust these helpers with their elderly parents however, some helpers take advantage of such situations. I kindly plead that employers take some effort to know what their helpers are doing outside so that this kind of incidents could be avoided.
"I hope this will bring some awareness to employers who have helpers at their homes."


Winter:  Activists/Expats are brainwashing maids, telling them FDWs are human beings and have the rights to satisfy their craving for love, at the expense of others.  Putting aside FDW's full-time day job and finding male companionship is correct?  Isn't this irresponsible?  If this elderly is your father, would you encourage your maid/FDW (I am saying your maid, not somebody else's) to drop her care for your dad and do whatever she likes, just because you want her to feel she's a human being and being respected, not a slave in your household?  

How can activists brainwash maids and tell them their priority is their personal affairs/pleasure and not their FDW job scope?  Why MOM is not regulating maids and agencies, tell them they have accepted a FDW job and should strictly adhered to their AEAS/CASE/Agency standard contract and work permit terms & conditions - perform a proper and decent job in Spore.  Modern maids have off days so why they are so eager to show their love when they are suppose to work?  

FDW felt this is morally (some maids are married) correct, nothing wrong?  Employers are paying maids so that they can fleece us?  All these are due to MOM pro-maid and pro-agency policies.  Employers and families are shortchanged, we're not protected, despite the fact we paid an average of S$1500 each month for a live-in FDW!

Do you know a number of modern maids did not do any housework in source countries, were princesses 十指不沾阳春水 好命娇娃 and yet applied to work as FDWs?  They are here to work little and play hard hard, best is find boyfriends.  We trained FDWs to become good helper but how many are really here to work as FDW and won't complain too much work (FDW was able to rest well but she wants more personal time) or house too big (HDB unit too big, are you serious maid's house not bigger then mine?). Who knows, modern maids are here to make use of off days find foreign talents become their partners.... 长期饭票.  FDW is just a disguise, a stepping stop.  Spore is made up of so many high salaried foreigners (click MOM data).  As at Dec 2013, there were 1,107,100 foreigner workers, excluding domestic maids.  Out of this figure,175,100 holding EP and 160,900 holding S pass.  Total FDW work permit issued were 214,500.

Why filipinos' 'hub' is in Orchard?  I don't understand why filipino maids get the best spot in Spore - Orchard, the most crowded weekend place and tourist belt, you know why?  

Brought her employer's child out for her date.
Activists, Ministers and Ministry of Manpower, are you telling me this is right?  Or you intend to find excuse for this maid, claiming that child is hers? Is this how human rights are to be used?  Who's there to think of or protect that poor child? 

If this is your child and you went out to work for bread and butter, treated your maid well, didn't cage her yet she did this to you.... a nice, not a tyrant employer, is her act forgivable?


This maid's child is not 'made out of real love'.  Maid murdered her own child to escape her responsibility.  Isn't this sinful?
What this maid did implicated her employer and family!  Her personal fling with man caused miseries to others.  Is her misbehavior fair to another human being - the employer who paid for a FDW, not prostitute or playgirl?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Employer: am I a good employer
Maid:  yes
Employer: are you a good helper
Maid: (hesitate) .... I don't know
Employer: are you a good mother and good wife?
Maid: why do you ask?
Employer: neigbours saw you dating your sweetheat.
Employer:  you made me a laughing stock in this neigbourhood.  Others aware of your relationship but I am the last to find out.  You made me foolishly paid for your phone bills, thinking you wanted to stay connected with family and husband.  I feel sorry for your husband and child.

Filipina need companionship, March 10, 2012

Tara, 23, came here to work as a maid two years ago.The Filipina does not get a day off, as her employers do not want her to mix with “bad company” when she goes out on her own.

Little do they know that she started dating one of the condominium’s security guard six months ago.   The maid, who is married in the Philippines with a four-year-old son, has even invited her boyfriend to her employers’ apartment on two occasions when no one was home.   She says that she needs love and companionship too.

= = = =
Merlina Bobonao: I DON'T JUDGED & CONDEMN WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR LIVES BUT THIS IS NOT A GOOD IMAGE FOR THE FILIPINO WOMEN YOUR DRAGGING PEOPLE WORKING FAIR & SQUARE WHOSE NOT INTO THIS THING INTO SHAME........IF YOU CAN'T DEAL LONELINESS THEN WHY THE HELL YOU CAME HERE FOR...............!!!!!!! YOU CAME HERE TO WORK NOT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR MOSTLY IF YOU ARE HAVING FAMILY AT HOME! !!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is this how a human being behaves?
Live telecast and FREE show! Hoping this kind of open style business concept can bring in more men to love you deeply?

Maids having ‘love’ at East Coast Park, Shin Min Daily News, 16 Sep 2013
Picture: From outside the tent, photographer could see quite clearly a maid with her boyfriend, they undressed and openly made love.


The public noticed that maids and male foreign workers are enjoying ‘LOVE’ at East Coast Park. Over the weekends, they put up tents, their "little love nest" to make love and destroy the serenity of the Park. This also spoilt family outings which include children who went to the Park.

Shin Min Daily News reporter who was present at the scene, saw one of the maids and workers getting ‘screwed’ in the tent. Maids used to be spotted in Orchard Road area but after knowing male foreign workers, they moved their nests to East Coast Park because having a tent is so much cheaper than paying for hostel or hotel. East Coast Park is a place for healthy family fun and bonding but ruined by these inconsiderate people. Parks are not private places for maids to seek love and affection.


To all Maids/FDWs in Spore
Have you searched your moral conscience? I hope most would agree that conscience is the proverbial angel on your shoulder, the antagonist is the little devil who whispers temptations in your ear perched on your other shoulder. To use your moral conscience is not to listen to the devil or those evil whisperers (your friends) around you. What other maids are doing or activists are preaching, are you sure by following their footsteps or advice, you’ll achieve the freedom and human rights you thought you should get? What about the consequences of your actions? Did your friends or activists said they will help you unconditionally if YOU ran into trouble?

They intend to provide you with new livelihood, give you money if you cannot work, eg paralysed or infected with AIDS??

Have you ever felt you may not be able to return home?
Did it ever cross your mind you may no longer be able to hug your dearest children or families?

Is it really a must to find love and sex in Spore?
Are you 100% sure what you’re doing is correct?

Some employers are trying to protect themselves from the harm that you may bring but indirectly, they are also protecting your interest and future. Have you really mulled over their words of wisdom or caution? Or you simply felt their sayings are suffocating you, thus, driving you to break free and hack care about the consequences of your wilfulness?

You feel proud to have admirers? You feel more secure or attractive to receive men's attention?

If you've done your daily chores and appeared to be a capable domestic helper so you think it is your rights to do whatever you fancy on your off days or unofficial time-off? This is your private life although your work permit and Spore law stated Employer is held responsible for what you did, eg pregnant or injured during a fight? You felt hurting your employer or destroying the trust is something commendable? You think this is fair to another human being who wasn't given similiar human rights?

Is lonely a good reason to find love and sex while working as a 2-year FDW??
You can go home, nobody said after 2 years, you are tied down and cannot return home get or maintain a 'healthy and proper' relation with man.



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This may happen to you. Nobody will be lucky forever and runaway scot-free. You'll pay for your actions one fine day or those dearest to you may get what you sow! Find love, find sex and a road of no return?

Rezzilyn Lodia Vinegas had left her hometown of Tagudin, Ilocos Sur, to work in a bakery in Manila in the early 2000s. Despite her mother's protestations, her partner went with her and they shared a home. Vinegas bore the man three children. She returned to Tagudin some years later and started searching for employment in Singapore because she felt that her salary in the Philippines was insufficient. "It's so sad that their mother went to Singapore to give them a brighter future, but they don't seem to know her."

In Singapore, other Filipino maids apparently told Vinegas about the rumours about the man in her hometown. The family requested The New Paper not to identify the man, who is unemployed.

Vinegas' half-sister, Aileen Lacasandile, 35, who works as a maid in Abu Dhabi, broke down uncontrollably when she found out about her death. Speaking to The New Paper at the family home on Friday, she said: "I cannot accept her death. She is a strong person. She is happy and friendly. "She is very responsible, she wouldn't leave her children behind. She always sends money to the kids. How are they going to do without her?"

Vinegas' death is still very puzzling, and everyone is still shocked how she and her Bangladeshi boyfriend, Md Sumon Md Lutfar, were found dead in the hotel room together. They had no inkling of any fights or unhappiness between them.

Vinegas' bloodied body was discovered in a room at Summer Hotel on Lorong 22, Geylang. The police received a call around 11.40pm on March 4. Sumon, 22, who worked in an air-con company and Vinegas were discovered with cuts on their limbs and necks. They were pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics.

A police spokesman said a knife with a 5cm-long blade was found at the scene. The couple had met about half a year ago and went steady after a few months. During this time, Sumon would reportedly lavish gifts on Vinegas. They even exchanged engagement rings they had bought for each other. But their love affair didn't have a happy ending.

The deaths came as a shock to the couple's friends and colleagues. There were no telltale signs that pointed to such a tragic ending, they say.

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Maid stabbed by lover
Yes, the injuries on her back were caused by her boyfriend. But they did not cause Madam Ruliyawati’s death.

Instead, she had immersed herself in the water in the tank and she did so “with the intention to end her own life”, said State Coroner Imran Abdul Hamid in his findings yesterday during an inquiry into the Indonesian maid’s death.

Madam Ruliyawati, 30, was found floating inside a water tank at the rooftop of Block 686B, Woodlands Drive 73 on May 16, 2011, with 15 superficial stab wounds on her body.

While 13 were found on her waist and limbs, the remaining two were on her back.

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Maids say Bangladeshi workers only want woman's body, The New Paper, 9 Mar 2012
It's the Bangladeshi boys who are flirty, not us. This was what domestic workers told The New Paper. "They only want the woman's body," said Sarminah, 30, an Indonesian who has been working here as a maid for five years. She gets one day off a month and spends that day hanging out with friends in Changi Village or in CityPlaza.

The maid, who is married with two children, added: "Even on the road, when I go out to do things for my employer, they will follow me and ask for my number." Another maid, who declined to be identified, agreed with Sarminah. The petite, long-haired 26-year-old Filipina with a sweet face and gentle demeanour has been working in Singapore for only 11/2 years. But she claimed she has already been hit on countless times by Bangladeshi men. She said this happens every time she goes to town on her days off. She gets one Sunday off a month.

She usually spends her days off with her 32-year-old aunt, who has worked here for more than a decade, at Orchard Road shopping centres such as Lucky Plaza. She said: "The men will look at me and smile, but I never smile back. Otherwise, they will try and make friends with me." Sometimes, the bolder men cut straight to the chase. She said: "They will come up to me and say, 'Hi, miss, can I have your number?' "They'll say things like, 'You look so pretty, so sexy.' But I just pretend I didn't hear them."

There are those who are even more persistent. Once, she said, she was tailed by a Bangladeshi man for 30minutes at Orchard Road. "I was walking with my aunt, but from the corner of my eye, I could see him following us," she said. She said she does not want to get into a relationship as the problems that may arise are notworth her while. 'I ignore them'.

Christina Manava Umalla, 29, a Filipina who has worked here for four years, said she scolds the men who try to pass her pieces of paper with mobile phone numbers on them. Umalla, who meets up with friends at Lucky Plaza on her days off, said: "I will ignore them when they flirt with me. But when they come and talk to me, I tell them, 'Are you crazy?' "If you talk to them, they will think you like them."

Umalla, who gets one Sunday off a month, added: "There are a lot of Bangladeshi men. Some of them are handsome and neat. But I don't like it when they disturb me."

But the charm of male foreign workers sends 46-year-old Gena into a fit of giggles. The Filipina admitted that she found them attractive, but turned coy when asked what she liked about them. The maid, who gets a day off each month, said: "But I don't want to give them my number and my cousin said that if I say hi to them, they will follow me."



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Maid killed her lover
She couldn't let go, even when her lover refused to call of his wedding back home in India.

Tharmalingam Puwaneswary, a 33-year-old maid from Sri Lanka who is married with two children, even went as far as to track down Mr Murugaiyan Selvam's fiancee to tell her about their relationship.

Yet it didn't destroy Mr Murugiayan's marriage plans, causing the lovers to quarrel frequently in the months leading up to his death in December 2009, allegedly by Puwaneswary's hand.

A psychiatrist who interviewed Puwaneswary testified at her trial yesterday, saying that her difficult marriage had caused her to be "very lonely and emotionally needy".

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I need love, I am lonely - voice of a married maid in Spore, 13 Mar 2012, The New Paper
When her employers leave their condominium for work in the morning, Tara's heart beats faster. Because it is time to meet her boyfriend. Despite her employers not giving her a day off for fear that she will mix with bad company or find a boyfriend, the maid has found an admirer.

The 23-year-old Filipina, who declines to give her full name, says she is dating one of the condominium's security guards. "He works the night shift and we meet in the morning after my employers go to work," reveals Tara, who came to Singapore two years ago. Every morning, her employers send their two children to pre-school before going to work. She is then left alone at home with the kids' elderly grandmother.

Tara, who has to walk the dog and go to the market in the mornings, takes the opportunity to meet her boyfriend during that time. She believes her employers do not know about her boyfriend. On two occasions when the grandmother was not home, Tara even invited her boyfriend to her employers' three-bedroom condominium unit.

"I was very scared that someone would come home suddenly. So I stopped inviting him. We just meet outside now. We go to the park nearby. Few people go there because it's very hot," says Tara. "I cannot let my employers know I have a boyfriend or they will send me back to the Philippines, and I need my job here."

Tara says her employers have read about the recent news of a Bangladeshi man and a Filipino maid found dead in a Geylang hotel. They warned her about having a boyfriend here. "They said that things often go bad for people like us who fall in love here," says Tara, who started dating only six months ago. "I don't think this will happen to me. My boyfriend is very nice to me."

Tara does not see the need to tell her employers about her boyfriend, and feels that even though she works here as a maid, she deserves to have some degree of privacy. "Maids are human beings and we have feelings too. It is natural to fall in love," says Tara, who is married in the Philippines and has a four-year-old son with her Filipino husband. "I still love my husband and my son. But I am all alone in Singapore and I need someone here too, because I need to stay and work here for many years to support my family back home."

Tara smiles shyly when she tells this reporter how caring her boyfriend has been. "He takes me to the supermarket on his motorbike. Before, I had to walk under the hot sun and carry the heavy groceries home by myself. He also helps to top up my phone card and recently, he bought me an iPhone so that I can surf the Internet, watch videos and log on to Facebook," reveals Tara. She keeps her rendezvous with her boyfriend to two hours as she needs to get lunch ready before the kids come home at 12pm.

Like most maids, Tara is hired to take care of the children and the elderly in the family. She does all the household chores and ensures that the home is spick-and-span when her employers return home from work at 7pm. On her employers' advice on staying in so she can avoid "bad company", she says: "I don't know what they mean by bad company. They don't realise that I need friends too. I like to go to the supermarket, where I meet other maids. We all understand each other," says Tara.

"Many maids have boyfriends. We will introduce friends to each other and take care of each other, whether or not we have a day off. "New maids who come here will be given a day off. I am not so lucky. My employers will only give me $20 more for each Sunday I work."

"They scold me all the time and call me 'stupid' behind their children's back. But in front of their children and friends, they seem very nice to me." Tara recalls how she would often cry herself to sleep in her first year here. But she soon learnt how to handle her employers' complaints and scolding.

Even though she does not have a rest day, she manages to take afternoon naps inside the bathroom. Occasionally, Tara amuses herself by trying on her female employer's dresses and taking photos of herself with her iPhone. "Sometimes I hide in the bathroom to watch videos on my iPhone. I love my iPhone so much and I cannot let my employers know I have one. They will take it away from me. I keep too many secrets inside my iPhone."



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Finding love in broad daylight , no need to hide. This is human rights, nothing wrong to meet boyfriend during working hours. We are maids, not slaves! No need to feel ashamed or get uneasy to have spectators??!!??