17 Jan 2013

My Indonesian maid 'enjoys' treasure hunting

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My 4th filipino FDW (JA)

17 Jan - Finding a missing shoe
M lost one side of my girl's shoe this morning.  Teacher rang to feedback she went missing for 2 hours and left my girl alone in class.

I told teacher that was not the first time she is losing or damaging my things.  Her working behaviour need improvement.  From the first expensive instance of losing my girl's spectacles to the clip-on stroller umbrella, she often has some plans to get me frustrated.  M didn't feel that opening her eyes and put attention on my girl is an important thing?  Trying to get me kick her out of my house?

She likes to get others to act as her eyes, ear and brain .... so tire of such life.  Yes, this is a small issue in many people's eyes but losing and damaging things frequently will snow ball to something bigger.

M is abusing my kindness.  I have not deducted her salary for her misdeeds/negligence.  Believe it is time that I stop being nice and too sympathetic.  M has to know what is the meaning of parting with hard-earned money.  I sms M that I got a call from teacher and she must stop taking advantage of me.  As usual, she didn't reply.

Yes, I'm at the mercy of maids, can't be too nasty but what better choice do I have?
My girl is in her hands and the bruises on my girl didn't get lesser .... sigh.
Really must stop work?

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30 Dec - Finding Induction Cooker 
Gas ran out when my porridge was about to get cooked.  I was able to use the claypot remaining heat to get my porridge cooked.  M wasn't able to use gas to cook noodles. 
M:    mam no gas how I cook?
Me:  no gas, use what, you don't remember?
M:    where put?
Me:  I showed you
M:    don't know where
Me:  find, otherwise you can't cook dinner, not my problem
M tried to start the gas many times but failed.  She was banging my kitchen, I could hear her putting down the lighter, etc.  M only tried to look at the store room and gave up searching.  M has no mood to find the induction coker in other places so she went straight to the bread which I bought for breakfast.

Told hubby how lazy M is to use her brain and remember things.  Hubby said I'm lucky that M is not smart and cunning like J.  But I said M doesn't use brain, her bad memory is giving me a tough life.
That's man!  Not the trainer and the one facing M.
Can't count on hubby to understand what M is doing to me.  Just like J, on appearance was a perfect helper. 

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28 Dec - Balloon
Me:  Go find balloon to play with XX (my girl)
M:    balloon?  what balloon? Yellow?
Me:  no
M took out a yellow gym ball.
Me:  this is a ball, not balloon!

As usual, M went searching and showing me things that she thought is a balloon.  Had enough of her, decided to go internet show her what is a balloon. 
M:    ohoooo, balloon I know but don't know where put
Me:  you kept it so you find

I waited till she found the 'treasure'.  Asked M to play with my girl by blowing up the balloon with a bicycle pump.  After a while, XX gave signal to pee so M dropped the pump and balloon that was pumped half way. 

When M came back, she showed me the half blown balloon.
M:    mam, you do this or XX?
Me:  .....
M:    ....ohooo, I blow
Me:  why you like to make me angry?  How many times must I remind you to use your brain and eyes to see?  When I'm angry, you're very happy?  You don't like me to be nice to you?
M:    .....


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23 Dec - Finding Millet
I asked M where are the rest of the things that I bought together with the raisins?  It is of same packaging but content different.

M searched my fridge by taking everything one by one out, then opened all my drawers, took everything one by one out, followed by kitchen top and cupboard. 
M:    Where, mam?
Me:   I bought the things home, you kept them so where is the yellow millet?
M:    don't know
Me:  you were suppose to use your eyes to see
M:    yellow .... the mango?
Me:  since when did I asked you to keep mango?

The treasure hunt ended when she went to storeroom to search.
M:    mam, this I no see (showed me millet)
Me:  how come you don't see what you packed?
M:    mam say keep, I keep
Me:  ......

I believe M hates me to the core.  Hates me for not telling and insisted she has to find things herself... giving her a hard time, forced her brain to function.  None of her ex-employers did this, I'm the baddie.  All her ex-employers were super nice, didn't raise their voices nor point out what she did wrong.

How I wish M doesn't bother me, get her job done satisfactory.  Read her notes, ask only if M hasn't done that task before.

I have not enjoyed 24 hours of peace and happiness ever since her real training started.  Why I need to remind her?  I'm not her mother or nanny!  Why MOM made me babysit a woman and till need to bear her full costs?  Why can't I fire a FDW and get refunded for the agency fee paid and outstanding maid loan?  To avoid money eaten by agencies and legal parties in this maid's business, how many other employers, like me have to live this kind of life?

If somebody like her works in a Singapore company, which supervisor or company can tolerate and let her work?  Which company willing to do charity work by hiring such an employee?

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17 Dec - Luncheon meat is veg?
Yesterday I passed 2 cans of luncheon meat to M, gave her money to queue and pay.  Told M I'm going to another place to look for some stuff so after she has paid, wait at the supermarket entrance.

When I walked back 5 mins later, M was not at the meeting place.  Looked into supermarket queues, she wasn't in any queue.  Waited another 5 mins, still nobody.  She has gone on her own shopping spree again! 我忍. 

M finally appeared without feeling apologetic for keeping me and my girl waiting. I gave her black face on the way back but she felt she did nothing wrong.

This evening, I sms her what to prepare for dinner.  Told her I'm teaching her how to cook luncheon meat for dinner.

Me:  Where's the luncheon meat?
M:    what luncheon meat?
Me:  read your sms

M ignored me, searched my fridge for luncheon meat.  She pulled out snow peas, it was spolit, kept too long.
M:    this?
Me:  what did you buy yesterday?
M:    don't know

M continued her search by ransacking the fridge, including freezer!
Me:  what did I ask you to buy yesterday?
M:    mam, what luncheon meat? veg?
Me:  read your sms
M:    I don't know what luncheon meat.  Vegetable?

I looked hard at her, breathed in and out.  我忍
M pulled out another veg.
Me:  did you buy this yesterday?

She touched the eggs, dried cranberries, sweets and many things that were not purchased yesterday nor bought by her.  I watched her do her show and waited for her to wake up.  At last, she decided to activate her brain and eyes, dashed for the store room.  Jackpot! 

M kept the cans of luncheon meat, I didn't.  The word 'luncheon meat' was stated very clearly on the can.  I also typed in my sms.  Something very clear, yet she chose to act blur, be forgetful, close her ears or choose not to be observant ......

Told myself I must keep my mouth shut, don't scold her, tell myself no point waste time explaining.  M has been with me for about one month.  I realised that no matter how simplied is my English, pointed word by word using her dictionary or went online do a sentence translation to Bahasa, M can switch off her brain and ears, continue to act she doesn't understand.  I did what I can to communicate clearly.  I tried my best to let her understand my instructions to avoid mistakes.  I really don't want to be M's babysitter and give myself unnecessary stress.  I believe it is really up to M to decide whether she wants to continue with her working attitude, play forgotten games to make me give up on her.

One day when the volcano erupts, she will be kicked out of my house.  I told FDWs I don't want to kick anybody out of my house.  If FDW doesn't want to work for me, just tell me in advance.  I do not want anybody to feel unhappy or being forced to work in my house for two years.  Two years is not short.  If M choose to work in my house, she has to follow my instructions and remember by house rules till the day she departs.  This is the same message I told my other FDWs. 

When FDW feels unwilling to work for me, I'm worried she may vent her anger on my girl when we're not home.  I'm also afraid FDW may learn some tricks like put detergent or her menses blood in my girl's food/milk (my girl of low IQ can't tell, can't complain nor express herself in words).  I cannot afford to have a time bomb or an 'insane' FDW.  My girl may have disability and a burden for life but she is still my precious princess.

It is my house, not FDW's house, my child not hers.  I decide how I want my house to look like, how my girl should be taken care, where I want to put things, etc.  I want to keep things in the usual ways so when FDW goes for her off days, I know where are my things and can continue to take care of my girl or cook without her presence.  I don't want to be handicapped just because FDW has taken an off day.  I don't want any FDW to think she's indispensable!  I dislike FDW who assumed I'll die because she's not around. 

My ex-maid J thought she has all the bargaining power, standing on upper hand and she can manage me even though she was a person of bad character.  She was a liar and people chose to believe her.  Her greatest supporter is my hubby.  Her strength is being able to manage my girl but that doesn't mean I'm willing to compromise, accept risks and give in to her demands.
My ex-maid J

I'm very supportive of FDW going for off days .... as long as MOM removes all liabilities on me if FDW is clearly at fault. 

MOM, when are you going to remove levy, security bond and repatriation clauses for needy families (household income qualifies for FDWG)?  FDW having fun outside or waiting to be transferred to another employer, why I still need to be responsible for her well-being? 

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