24 May 2013

What Maids did? Learn & Share

All Topics  (content page)
My 4th filipino FDW (JA)
Who earns lesser than FDWs?

Philanthropy is a laudable virtue but should one do blindly .... help FDWs?  
Answer: YES  

To:  Maids/FDWs
Don't be worried, you're well protected to work in Spore.  We envy you because our govt/MOM/self-righteous people are standing behind you. Many people eager to shower you with protection, care and abundant love.  Lots of people still believe you are nice people, harmless, employers have over exaggerated, all those stated here are just a handful of maids who are really bad or not careful when doing bad things 冰山一角  so you really don't have to worry that you won't get a juicy job!  Relax, continue enjoy life, carry on be stubborn, make mistakes that you've been reminded not to ... do as much as you can to drive your employers mad.  When you get a new employer, you can bargain for more off days, higher salary, hold your mobile phone 24/7, demand you want yearly home leave instead of every 2 years go home, a private room, etc.  Employers like me will bite the bullet till can't stand you and had to create a blog to share with others.

Why don't use proper channel to complain, such as MOM?  Spare some time, read my blog and you'll know why.

1/2: Finding love in a foreign land
More romances between work-permit holders bloom here

Man sees girl. He scribbles his contact number on a piece of paper and throws it to her. If she is interested, she will SMS him.

Or he flashes a winsome smile at a prospect. A conversation follows if she responds and phone numbers are exchanged.

This is how foreign workers here - mostly those who are on work permits - pair off for possible romance in popular hangout spots such as Lucky Plaza and Little India.

Indonesian maid Aisa's employers are nice to her but she would rather not tell them about her Bangladeshi boyfriend.

'No need to tell them,' said the 35-year-old Central Java native who has been dating construction worker Md Shamin, 29, for three months.  He sent her a text message asking to be her friend. He had got her phone number from a co-worker.

Maid with bad working attitude source

Last year, my dad suffered a stroke which left him half-paralysed. I employed a Filipino maid to look after him and help him with his daily needs. Initially, she was fine, until she started retorting everything that we said to her.

But that's alright. Now i shall list the stuff that happened over the past few weeks/months.

1. One day at around 10pm which is my dad's bedtime, my dad said he wanted to go down for a walk. So i asked the maid to accompany him. She said "dowan" and lied on her bed texting away.

2. My mum had a backache one day so she asked the maid to massage abit for her. The maid said she didnt want to do it cuz it's not stated in the contract.

3. My dad had an appointment at the hospital in the morning. But before that, he went to have breakfast with the maid downstairs. After 15min, she came back and said she needed to use the toilet. Then she went down again. After 5min, she came back and said my dad was gone. So we went down and searched for my dad for 1h.
In the end, it turned out that she had a quarrel with my dad and said she did not want to go to the hospital. She told him to go himself instead, which he did.

4. I reprimanded the maid for leaving my dad alone. So she got unhappy and said she didnt want to work anymore. On sunday morning, she flipped the papers and said she wanted to visit XXX maid agency to look for a new employer. I said okay, and granted her a day off, not forgetting to deduct $20 from her salary.

5. On monday after she returned, she said she didnt want to help my dad to exercise anymore. She also didnt want to massage for him. And because of that, she told me not to pay her salary for next month.

Piss off with the maid source

My dad replaced our Indonesian maid early last year as she wants to go back to Jarkata. The agency gave us a Myanmar maid. As the maid was for our grandparents, there is a language barrier, my grandparents can only speak Teochew, Malay, some Chinese and English. The Myanmar maid cannot understand English and can only say Yes/No Sir/Mam, so replaced her as well.

Now came a Pinay maid, she is not that bad, quite diligent and she was a pharmacy assistant back home, so she could help with my grandparents' medications and understand the process of medical visits etc.

Then she became more daring, when she goes to the market with my grandma, she will want my grandma to buy her food that she wants to eat when she pass by the hawker centre. She will sometimes buy meat or other ingredients that she wants to cook her own meal with my grandma's money.

Her brother needed an operation so she borrowed money (advanced pay of 5 months), then her brother pass away, she wanted to go back home for the funeral so advanced pay (1 month) again and she went back for 1 week. When she came back she said she wanted off, when from the start she said she do not want off as she want to earn more by working at home during her off day. She told me that my dad was a nice guy unlike what she heard of Singaporean employers when she was back home, she said stories of how nasty Singaporean employers was what she was worried about when she first came here to work.

Then came Christmas, she hinted to my dad that her family needs money for Christmas, my dad said no as she had already advanced her pay all the way to March this year. She then started selling off the newspaper/empty cans that my grandma collected to the karang guni and pocketed the money, she also asked my grandma to buy 4D for her...

"These two maids were treating their unwell boss like a pet at the McDonald's outlet in IMM.

"When I arrived, the maid was patting the wheelchair-bound man on his forehead as though he was an animal.

"It seemed to me that the 2 maids had a date at IMM and because one or both of them had to take care of the man, they couldn't leave him at home alone.  "Therefore, they decide to take him along and push him around.  "It was good of them to not leave him alone at home, but should they be doing that?"

Activists/MOM, Don't assume Employers didn't try to be nice.  It is often maids who killed our kindness, went overboard and still thought they did nothing wrong!  FDWs lose controls, take advantage of employers and learn to err is human, were due to your overprotectiveness.  You gave them a comfort area to hide from wrongdoings and encouraged FDWs to learn from others and be bad.  You allowed FDWs to mis-use their privileges.  You educated them to err is human, nobody is perfect (means can remain untrainable, be stubborn)!   

19 Apr - Don’t tempt the domestic maid.  Maid might be trying to curb her greed but how long can she resist temptation?  You are inviting her to do something wrong.

My mum claimed my sister’s Myanmar maid stole her money and jewellery.  My mum said nobody told her she must close her bedroom door before she goes out.  She didn't know she has to be careful.

Suggest FDW’s employers not to tempt or test your maid.  The outcome may not be something delighting if that something lost is valuable or the amount lost is huge.  If you’ve a bad habit of leaving your cash laying around and forget about it, don’t try to ask whether your maid has seen it.  If it is missing, she has seen it and taken.  Without any proof eg CCTV, don’t bother to ask and ruin a relationship.  If she saw you’ve misplaced and want you to know, she will remind you or bring that item/cash and hand over to you.  Alternatively, call in the police to do a search if you want actions to be taken.  No point asking because you are hinting she could be a house thief.  If turned out she didn't take, she won't feel happy to be suspected.

Indo maid stole jewellery placed on offering altar, Lianhe WanBao
1.5 years Maid pawn rings worth $3000 for only S$300.

10 Apr - Found these:
Maid and boyfriend in passionate petting, STOMP, Nov 2011
"Apparently, this maid who supposedly brought the small boy out for a walk ended up with her foreign worker boyfriend.  Both of them made out while the little boy was left alone by the side.”  

"The young boy was left by the side to play with an umbrella while the 'couple' made out openly.  "They caught many stares but continued regardless.  Poor innocent young boy was used by the maid to get out of the house, and not only that, was made to sit through the making out process.”

痴呆母身上瘀伤处处 女雇主发怒质问 女佣竟卷10万逃 75岁老妇腹部、臀部、手臂等多处瘀伤。

Maid slashed 7 yr old, Yahoo, Nov 2011
An Indonesian maid was sentenced to jail for eight years by Singapore's High Court on Monday for repeatedly stabbing her employer's seven-year-old daughter.

According to The Straits Times, Kumaeroh, who had then been working for the family of four for eight months, was preparing the girl for school on 23 September 2009, when the maid suddenly attacked the child with a knife.

The girl was the only one home with the maid, as her parents were out at work and her elder sister was still in school.  As the maid stabbed the girl repeatedly with the knife, the latter struggled and fell. But Kumaeroh continued stabbing her in the front and back while pinning the girl down.  She then took a chopper from the kitchen and started slashing the girl's wrist as she pressed the girl's left palm against the floor.

When the maid did not fetch the girl's elder sister from school, the latter called home but the maid hung up on her. She then called her father.  Although Kumaeroh told the father that the girl was sick when he called home, he heard her crying out for him and went home immediately.

The girl was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance after her father found her bleeding on the floor.  Kumaeroh pleaded guilty to a charge of attempted culpable homicide and was sent to jail for eight years.

The family celebrated the maid's birthday to make her feel at home, and Kumaeroh even wrote in her diary that she was happy working for the family.  According to the Straits Times, although the girl's mother believed that the sentence was fair, the father said that they "will never forgive her."  Although physically recovered, the girl has no appetite and is uncomfortable around strangers, said her mother.

Maid jailed for stealing, Dec 2011, Straits Times
A Filipino maid who stole more than $10,000 worth of property from her employer was jailed for six months on Tuesday.

Elma Dela Cruz Romero, 41, pleaded guilty to stealing cash and jewellery totalling $10,349 from Madam Chua Siew Ling, 46, at her home in Wellington Circle in Sembawang on Dec 1.
The court heard that the family was away in Malaysia when Romero used a hammer to knock the door knob of the victim's master bedroom and managed to open it. She also used the hammer to force open the cupboard drawers in the master bedroom and other rooms.
After stealing the items, she sought a neighbour's help to call the police, claiming the flat had been ransacked.

How maid showered a toddler, Feb 2011, STOMP
In the video, the woman used her foot to scrub the toddler, pulled the toddler's hair, and even appeared to pour water right into the child's mouth and nostrils.

Kind to let go a thief-FDW, Dec 17, 2008, The New Paper
Her maid stole $4,200 from her but Mrs Lee Khek Hwee forgave the maid.  After the maid was sent back home - the maid had paid for her own airfare home - Mrs Lee got an SMS message from Indonesia that read: 'U rly stpd employer ha ha ha.'

That left Mrs Lee Khek Hwee, 29, an administrative officer, fuming.  She replied: 'God has eyes. Wish you all the best.'  Mrs Lee's troubles with her former maid began on 10 Nov.
That day, she withdrew $10,000 in cash - of which $6,000 was to pay for renovation to their three-room Telok Blangah flat several weeks ago.

At 7pm, Mrs Lee left the money on the dressing table in her bedroom and went to shower.
Her husband, 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter were watching TV in the living room.
After her shower, she told her husband, a 35-year-old manager, to pay the maid back for groceries she had bought in the morning.  So he went to the bedroom to get his wallet, which was on the dressing table too.  He was startled to find $200 missing from his wallet.

Another shock awaited the couple when Mrs Lee found $4,000 missing from the stack of cash she had left on the dressing table.  She told The New Paper: 'I folded the notes and put it under something heavy, so it could not have flown away.'  But the couple did not suspect their maid as they trusted her.

The maid had been with them for more than two years, and they had just renewed her two-year contract in June.  Even after discovering the loss, Mrs Lee gave the maid the remaining $6,000 to pay the contractor who was waiting downstairs.  After that, the couple searched their home for the missing $4,200.

When they could not find the money, they suspected the maid must have taken it.
Mrs Lee said: 'But she said she did not do it, and even told me to do a body check if I didn't believe her.'  Mrs Lee did not search the maid, but she did check her luggage.  Mr Lee also went through the maid's wallet.  There was $800 in her wallet, but the notes were not in denominations of $100 - the money the couple lost were in $100 bills.

Two days later, Mrs Lee checked her maid's recent transactions with a Western Union agent in Bukit Merah that her maid gone to.  As it turned out, the agent told her that at 9am that day, two Indonesian maids had asked to remit $4,200 to Indonesia.  'But as the Indonesian address they gave didn't match with the one the agent had on record, he did not remit the money,' Mrs Lee said.

So she made a police report.  That was when her maid finally confessed to stealing the money.
Mrs Lee said: 'She said she had taken the money while we were not paying attention, and passed it to one of our neighbour's maids who lives on the seventh storey.

Employer's nightmare - maid gave birth to prematured baby, Dec 2008

Under Singapore law, if a maid gets pregnant, she will get repatraited immediately or employers stand to lose their $5,000 security deposit.  However, for Madam W L Lim's maid (Nina), regular medical tests failed to indicate her pregnancy and eventually she gave birth to a premature baby boy.

In the local newspaper report, Madam Lim was shocked when she was rang up by the police who told her Nina just gave birth.  It did not occur to her that this is possible given that the doctor cleared her tests just two months ago. But nothing prepared her for the size of the hospital bill.

The sizeable bill of $5,500 for her maid's Caesarian delivery on Dec 11, ballooned to $67,000 for the hospitalisation of Nina's 27-week old premature baby boy, now warded at the KK Women's and Children's Hospital (KKH) Intensive Care Unit.

It was like a maid employer's nightmare come true. According to Dr Juliana Abu-Wong, a gynaecologist and obstetrician with more than 10 years' experience, the pregnancy tests currently administered comprise a urine check and an abdominal examination which are 90 to 95 per cent accurate.

"So how is it that the doctor failed to detect my maid was four months pregnant?" Madam Lim questioned.  A blood test for pregnancy would have been more accurate. Blood testing is not made mandatory to keep costs down for employers.

"Though the rules require the employer to bear the full cost of the maid's medical care, nowhere does it say the employer should bear the medical cost of her kin," said Mr Goh, defense lawyer.

8 Apr - You may have not clicked the tab "My Views". This is something I've read and duplicating here.  It is about a trusted maid whom the expat employer regarded as 'friend', turned thief.  Most Expats seemed like can afford to have such maids because they have extra money to spare and they are in Spore for short-term so not an issue if bitten by any 'poisonous snake'. 

By extracting what maids did, first time employers can be mentally prepared for the worst.  You can choose to be a desirable employer by giving FDW the best employment terms .... if you can afford to take risks, accept unknown stress and financial losses.  You may be a lucky person fated to hire a FDW who is hardworking and appreciative or an employer who can educate and train your FDW to be a good helper.  Just a good helper, a worker, not a mother to your children or the new mistress of the house.

Take note, any unusual or ‘premium entitlement’ that you felt you must give to your FDW (to show she has been hired to work in a fantastic household), you can’t take back.  Your FDW will be displeased.  If she’s the person hired to care for your children while you’re working full-time, you won’t want to provoke her and place your children at risks. 

I stands for blogger.  B stands for the filipino maid
Ravi stands for expat’s hubby.  Elanor stands for expat’s child.
Now know that inappropriate things have been going on from the start.  But anyone who knows Ravi and I knows that we are not the most organized individuals.  So when a few things went missing, we looked for them and eventually just chalked it up to carelessness on our part.  Singapore is a cash economy on a scale that neither of us are used to.  So when it felt like we were going through money quickly, we were frustrated, not suspicious; WE must have forgotten three or four cash transactions in the last week to have so little money.

But before a single incident, I NEVER questioned B’s character.

I didn’t write about it here because I didn’t know how.  But about 4-5 months ago, Elanor conversationally said to me “Yaya slapped me across the face.”  Yaya is tagalog for “auntie,” and what she called B.  Ravi and I investigated the matter as thoroughly as we could with a not-quite-three-year old.  When I asked B directly, she looked poleaxed and said no, bursting into tears at the idea that Elanor would say such a thing.  I had doubts as to the veracity of E’s claim, because in my experience B had struggled with giving Elanor time outs, and never raised her voice.  Ravi asked Ellie to slap him the way Yaya had slapped her, and she had no idea.  We couldn’t figure out where Elanor had come up with this, but we just couldn’t prove anything and we just couldn’t believe B capable of such a thing.

After that incident, though, my faith and trust in B were shaken, even though we had concluded her innocent.  I have to assume that on some level I began keeping closer tabs on things, or as much as I could given my advanced pregnancy, illness, eventual hospitalization, and then the haze of new motherhood.  For the first time, I found myself asking Ravi “Hey, did you take some cash out of my wallet, because I should have more here than I do.”  When he’d say no, I’d chalk it up to Singapore’s heavy cash economy (taxis, minimum amounts before you can use a credit card, stores that don’t take credit, etc) and feel frustrated with myself for obviously spending money I couldn’t remember spending.  Once or twice the thought of “could B have taken it?” crossed my mind, and I immediately chastised myself for even thinking such a thing.  The amount of time between my last cash withdrawal and when I felt like I didn’t have the right amount of money was always just enough that I had doubts about how much I must have spent.

The events of the last 72 hours left no doubts.

December 24
At 7pm on Christmas Eve, I took a substantial amount of money out of the ATM to cover B’s Christmas bonus, my spending money for the last week we’d be home before the trip, replenishing our “petty cash” that B used to deal with household expenses (leaving receipts for me to then total), and an extra year-end bonus for B that we’d decided to give her to thank her for going above and beyond during 2011, which had been such a stressful and difficult year for me health-wise.

We went to a movie and I paid cash for the soda and popcorn.  Ravi bought the tickets.  I’m not sure who paid for the cab ride home, but regardless, it wasn’t much.

We paid B a Christmas bonus and her weekly grocery allowance.

December 26
Public holiday.  Ravi was home, Ebeth had the day off and was out with friends.

We walked from our home to Orchard Road to view the Menorah.  We took a cab from Orchard road to Millenia Walk mall to eat dinner out.  I paid for the cab.  We paid for dinner with credit.  We took a cab home, which I also paid for.

At 11pm I sent B a text letting her know the game plan for Tuesday–Ellie’s gymnastics camp, could she do a grocery store run, etc.  Remembering that petty cash needed money, I texted her that I would put X dollars on the table for petty cash.  I opened my wallet, expecting to find X+more than enough for our personal spending, and a surprise year end bonus for B.  There was barely X in my wallet.  That was weird.  I texted  her that it would be  less money on the table, and put the remainder back into my wallet.

Confused, I went in to ask Ravi if he’d taken some cash to cover his cabs for the week or anything.  He had not.

I walked myself through the last few days, wondering if I’d already given her the X for petty cash.  That would explain things, but I very clearly had not as I hadn’t seen her more than in passing, and I wouldn’t have put money on the table knowing she was off the next day(s).

Ravi suggested I ask her if I already had given her the petty cash, and the answer would be very telling, as we remembered those four or five recent occasions when money seemed to have disappeared or that we just couldn’t account for from primarily my wallet, but at least on one occasion, his.

December 27th
10 am(ish)

I asked B to come to my bedroom where E was hanging out watching her iPod, and I was breastfeeding Rhi.  Playing it off as “forgetful mommy” I said that when I’d gone to put out the petty cash, I seemed to be missing about X SGD.  Had I already given it to her and just forgotten?

With a straight, smiling face, she said no, that I must have misplaced it.  The thing is, normally I would have been running around enough that I would have mostly agreed, or felt less comfortable in saying that money had been stolen.  I got a sick feeling in my stomach.

1pm (ish)
I sent her and Ellie to gymnastics camp.  I get Rhi and I ready to go to her dr’s appointment. I go through the diaper bag to make sure I had my wallet, and when it fell open, I was greeted with less than what I KNEW was in it as of the previous night.  I had thought about taking my wallet into the bedroom the night before, but it had seemed liked (a) paranoia at the time and (b) a valid test because I KNEW how much was in there.

We agreed that at this point, the trust had been broken, and that we should fire her.  We kept trying to justify it, or trying to come up with anything she could say that would explain it and make it okay for her to stay.  It just didn’t make sense.  At the end of the appointment, Ravi and I made the decision to fire her, and I broke down crying.

3pm (ish)
I have never stepped foot into her bedroom.  I had only knocked at her door, looking at the room as her apartment, and treating it with the same respect I would treat anyone’s apartment.  I’m huge on privacy and I wanted to respect hers.

I felt so terrible, violating her privacy to look for the passport as I went into the bedroom.

I glanced around and was confused.  Things I had thrown out were in her room.  To be clear, I would have given them to her in a second, had she asked.  After all, I was throwing them out.  But she hadn’t asked for them.  She’d just taken them out of the trash and put them in her room.  That bothered me.

Then I looked down at the bed and saw a wallet open…with one of my credit cards in it.

I immediately booked the ticket, and I called the police, as the Ministry of Manpower website suggested I file a report with them in this instance, allowing us to have her blacklisted from employment again in Singapore.

B, Ellie and Ravi arrive home.  We put Ellie in front of tv, and sit B down.  We confront her, and ask her point blank, if she had stolen over X SGD from my wallet.  She looks us straight in the face and says no.  I tell her she’s being terminated and going home that night.  Before I’d found the credit card, I would have just let her pack her bag and taken her to the airport without going through her things, because as the theme of this whole post repeatedly points out, I am trusting and borderline stupid when it came to my level of trust in the B I thought I knew.

4:15pm (ish)
The police arrive.  They take her in another room, with one officer taking my statement and the other taking hers.  The wallet that had contained my credit card (thankfully an expired one) had also contained a brand new, valid, corporate Amex made out to a stranger.  We also found plenty of personal cards of mine, including a gift card to JP Licks I’d been so sad to have thought I’d lost on the last trip home (it’s a local ice cream chain in Boston), a discount card to a teacher store (Lakeshore Learning), the IKEA friends card I’d replaced while standing right in front of her confused as to where it could have gone, and others.

The police officer tells me I need to go through her room.

The stolen money was almost understandable.  Ravi and I had been trusting, careless and put temptation in front of her.  Our income disparities were a chasm.  She had a daughter to support.  None of it makes the theft okay, but we could almost understand how that happened.

Then shit got weird and upsetting.  As I was going through her items, I found (among other things)

A cash gift a relative had given us at Ellie’s birth, that we’d been saving to let Ellie pick out something or to put in her college fund, in the original distinctive  envelope.  I had recently found this as I’d been going through some stuff in the office, and had placed it on the desk there to take home and finally just put in a bank account.  It was wrapped inside one of her shirts
Two of my nursing bras
A burnt silk shawl I’d bought in college when it was something like 1/2 my take-home pay for a week.  In college and after for a few years, I’d hung it on the wall as art.  In Singapore, I’d had it folded on a shelf with other scarves and decorative wraps, as it only really went with one fancy dress, but as I almost never sport a shawl, I hadn’t looked at that shelf in ages.
One of Elanor’s bibs.
A box of Elanor’s Carnation Instant Breakfast.  The same Instant Breakfast we had run out of two days ago and suggested we buy earlier that day (which hadn’t made sense to me as I thought I had calculated such that we’d have enough to get through leaving for the US and for the first few days back at the very least).
Birthday cards to Ravi and I from my parents that we’d (sorry, Mom) discarded in the trash
Notebooks of mine
Passport photos of Ravi and I that we’d discarded
Some thigh high stockings I’d bought at Fredericks of Hollywood
The deck of playing cards we’d gotten at the hotel we’d stayed at the night we got married in Boston
one of my kitchen knives, blade under the bookcase, handle sticking out  (I actually almost missed this, it was so well hidden).
I also found plenty of things that pointed to a complete disconnect between the B I thought I knew and the B that apparently existed.

The B I’d known had said she had a boyfriend back home, and didn’t date or want anything to do with men here.  She’d come crying to me not six months previous saying he’d cheated on her and asked if she could change her number because he was harassing her.  I had been happy for her when she told me that she’d just started dating a new guy one month ago (around when Rhi was born).  I gave her the safe sex talk and she professed embarrassment about condoms, and didn’t want to buy them or use them because using them meant you were “dirty,” something she’d said before when we’d discussed sex (I’m a sex educator…I talk about sex).

The B I discovered in her bedroom had tons of condoms, lube, and a collection of hotel keys from around Singapore.  Which is not to slut shame her.  I don’t care if she visited every hotel in Singapore with a different guy on her own time, if that made her happy as long as she kept it separate from our home and our family.  It’s that she made a HUGE effort to present a specific image that did not fit with these items.

The B I’d known said she’d never tried alcohol in her life when I was once joking that we should do a shot of vodka after a very trying day with Ellie.
The B in her room had a liter bottle of Guinness, half drunk
The B I’d known said she wasn’t interested in owning a computer or anything like that when we offered to get her one last year for Xmas so she could skype her family from home without having to go to an internet cafe (which is where, according to her, she spent 3-5 hours every Sunday).
The B in her room had an empty Toshiba laptop box.  A brand-new in packaging DVD drive.  Sealed DVDS (and several of mine that she’d appropriated).  The stolen iPod (the iPod we’d considered giving her but hadn’t, instead choosing to give her a CD player and burning her CDs from my iTunes collection because she didn’t have a laptop).
When we’d first hired her, B had said she had almost no clothes, so I’d bought her work appropriate shorts and t-shirts, because her previous employer had paid her so little and she’d sent the money home.
The B in her room had so many clothes that she had to leave plenty behind.  The majority of which, though, were what I would term club wear.  Miniskirts, crotch level shorts, revealing shirts.  None of which I care that she owned, but again…huge disconnect.
B had said she was so upset when her wallet was stolen in part because she didn’t have another.
I found over 10 wallets and more than 5 purses in her bedroom
There’s more but you get the point.

The police sit me down and give me my options.
Option #1–I can press charges.  They will take her into custody for 48 hours.  After that, she will be released into Singapore and we will be responsible for her until her court date, which would likely be months away.

Option #2–I can choose not to press charges, and they will write the police report to look like they were called for missing money that couldn’t be found and that I decided she didn’t steal it but was firing her anyway.  None of the other stolen items that were found in their view would be mentioned.  But this was the only way we would be allowed to put her on a plane tonight and be rid of her.

We went with option 2, even though it left a terrible taste in our mouths when I signed the report and Ravi made them put in a line that he disagreed with my assessment of the situation.

745pm (ish)
With an hour before we were going to call a cab and have one of us escort her to the airport, we decided to give her a suitcase.  She had a small carry on, and she was allowed 20kg of checked luggage and a hand bag of 7kg luggage.  She only had a small carry on and there was a mountain of possessions.  Ravi suggested that we show more respect for her things than she’d shown for ours…to be the adults…and give her a larger bag.

We watched her pack.

At this point, I asked Ravi to go through her phone and delete any pictures of Elanor (of which I knew she had plenty).  Scrolling through and deleting, Ravi found photos of a man in a bikini brief/speedo and nothing else, dancing around our living room.

I was enraged and confronted her, asking if my child or children had been home when they were taken.

She said they’d been taken in November of 2010.  That was the visit home when after we returned, the security guard had warned me she’d had friends over.  I’d asked her, and she’d spun me a story of a friend from church coming over and watching movies with her.  When I had yelled at the security guard for treating her as less than human and that she had every right to have a friend over.  What a fucking idiot I am.

8:45pm (ish)-9:30pm (ish)
Ravi escorts her to the airport.  He watches her check in and takes her to immigration.  Once she’s through immigration, her only option is to get on a plane…to leave the airport, she has to clear immigration again, and she no longer has anything that lets her do that.

Just before immigration, she begs him for a large amount of money.
She seemed to not realize he was the nice person.  So she begs to call me.
I tell her that Ravi will give her 50 SGD for a cab home from the airport.  She calls and texts me repeatedly until I call her back.

“Take the 50 SGD and don’t contact me again, or Ravi takes you over the police and we go ahead and file charges.” I told her.
She takes the 50 SGD and clears immigration.

Why FDWs prefer to work for expatriates
This American expat employer posted:
"Basically, if any consequences result from sex, even if the partner is local…it is the maids problem.  B saw a friend sent home just a few weeks ago.  Her friend was pregnant, and was going to have to return to a country where abortion is illegal and a husband will likely beat her for becoming pregnant with another man’s child.  I wonder what that poor woman’s life is like as I write this."

Primarily they have little to no access to birth control and none to abortion, while the rest of us have access to both.  Make whatever argument you like, but I’m hardly going to fault another woman for seeking emotional comfort.

As an American, I think I’m particularly bothered by the lack of rights maids have here that anyone who isn’t a foreign domestic worker does enjoy, and I’m particularly bothered by the lack of reproductive freedom.

You may argue that they shouldn’t be having sex. To think that they have less emotional needs or are entitled to less comfort when not on the job is to think of them as less human or just less valuable than yourself."

Winter: This blogger fully supports human rights, believes there's nothing wrong with a married FDW having her personal life associated with another man.  Their husbands don't mind their wives sleeping with other men?  Will they be welcomed to return home ... don't feel 'dirty'?  Getting pregnant with another man's child is no big deal.  Just get an abortion and kill a life or lives. 
Extracted from her blog, something I felt she's right:

  • Whether you’ve had your helper for a day or a year…don’t assume that she knows what you mean when you say “Can you do X, please?”
  • Modeling is very important.  If it’s the first time you can remember asking her to do X, take the time to model what you mean.
  • Be understanding of “mistakes” because they’re not born out of spite, they are born from miscommunication and culture difference (Winter added this)
  • Remember that things that are “obvious” to you are not necessarily “obvious” to your helper
Winter: Expat employers are very desirable in Spore because they are very lenient, open to casual sex, willing to give high salary, give  lots of freedom, private room and off days, including Sg public holidays to their FDWs.... not forgetting when expats go for vacation in Dec, the FDW either became the Queen or she gets a free holiday.

This expat FDW's employer fired her domestic helper due to theft of money and personal items on 27 Dec 2011. According to her blog, it was not because her filipino helper slapped her daughter. These expats just couldn’t believe their trusted helper cum friend is capable of slapping their 3-year old daughter.

After I've read her posts about her thief cum prostiute maid, it made my anger and frustration to be a FDW's employer greatly reduced.... felt 'delighted' to know Expat employers also faced the same predicament, just that not many come forward to share.  Even though faced with a bad maid, blogger wasn't that angry because she continued to stand up for the rights of other FDWs. She felt she should bear some blame due to her leniency on managing her FDW.

Just want to say to employers who highly repected their FDWs' privacy, you're being nice but do remember that it is still your house and this is Spore so you're fully responsible for your FDW's action, regardless bad or good.  Respecting FDW's privacy doesn't mean being totally blind. It is better to know what she does in her room.  I didn't imply you install hidden camera or make a spare key to her room with intention to screen it whenever she's out of the house. 

If a FDW is being secretive, locks her room, disallows you from taking a peep or entering to have a casual chat, then you better open your eyes.  If you're loaded with cash to resolve issues created by your FDW, just pretend you didn't see my comments.

To expatriates or other high income earners, spending S$1500/per FDW is no big deal, simply too cheap to hire a live-in domestic maid.  Most people choose not to do proper calculation, thus, Expats or most people tend to focus on the basic salary (S$400 to $500) and start screaming ‘so low, OMG!’, modern slave, maids are not well paid, etc ... Therefore, having a maid is a must-have thing in Spore because it is too affordable to them!  Where to find such cheap deals, ordering FDWs around and able to behave like kings and queens?  A lot of expatriates auto increase the salary of their FDWs by paying extra S$100 to 300 above market rate.... spoiling the local market.  I came across a blog or somebody told me an expat paid the FDW S$800 as salary and paid her accommodation to live out!  Such juicy job, which FDW doesn't want? 

This kind of people loved to show how rich they are, should have a taste of what it means by being too nice (made those needy employers looked extremely bad, stingy and undesirable), spent generously on their FDWs and ended up being played out! You may think I’m mean but this is the best way (I can think of) to stop people from accusing us as bad employers, claimed FDWs treated like slaves, didn’t try to give FDWs a better life in Spore and allow more perks.  I hope expats living short-term in Spore, do not continue to spoil the Sg FDW market by offering unrealistic high salary and terms.  Hope MOM will tax you more since you felt FDWs are too lowly paid and you have money nowhere to dump.  Otherwise, ban all expatriates ie those holding work permits from employing FDWs. 

* * * * * * 
Nov 06, 2008, The New Paper

SHE was so desperate to go home that she used a rolling pin to hammer a 5cm-long sewing needle into her stomach.  Indonesian maid Dwi Susilowati foolishly thought that if she fell sick, her maid agency would write off her debt and send her home to Solo in central Java.

The needle did not seem to have any immediate effect, so the next day, on 27 Oct, the 23-year-old drank two cups of detergent powder mixed with water.

DESPERATE: Miss Dwi used a rolling pin to hammer a needle into herself. An X-ray showed it had been embedded somewhere between her stomach and chest.
When her employer found out about the needle that night, she immediately took her to see a doctor.  An X-ray showed that it had pierced her liver and was lodged in it.

Miss Dwi underwent surgery on 28 Oct to remove the needle and was warded for three days.  The incident happened about six weeks after she arrived here to work as a maid. It was her first time here.

Miss Dwi told The New Paper she had taken the needle from her employer's sewing kit and hammered it into her stomach in the kitchen of the Simei flat.

She said: 'I never thought of the pain. My mind was just focused on going back. I was homesick and I just wanted to return to Indonesia to my family. I was stressed and not thinking straight when I hurt myself.'

Miss Dwi, who is single, said she resorted to such foolish extremes because she wanted to make herself sick and unable to work.  'If my injuries were not severe, I would most likely be transferred to another employer and would have to continue working in Singapore, and I did not want that.'

'I wanted to make myself sick enough so that I would be sent home. Then I wouldn't be made to pay back the money I owed to the maid agency.'

Miss Dwi, who borrowed $2,500 to come here, had left Singapore and said she did not want to work overseas again. 

Her employer, Mrs Valerie Tan, 32, a financial planner, said Miss Dwi had told her she felt nauseous and had a stomachache, but did not reveal what she had done to herself.

'She did not want to see a doctor, so I told her to rest in her room,' said Mrs Tan, who communicated with Miss Dwi in a mixture of English and Malay.

Then, on that Deepavali evening, Mrs Tan's son, 13, told her that Miss Dwi 'wants to go home' and handed her a note, written in a mixture of English and Bahasa Indonesia, which the maid had given him.

It said: 'Sorry Madam, I won't mati (die in Malay), this morning needle sudah I in stomach. Madam I can't work here because I sick... I want stay at home Indonesia with family (sic).'

Mrs Tan sad she was shocked when she saw Miss Dwi wearing her maid agency T-shirt and standing next to her packed luggage.  'I asked her if there was really a needle in her stomach as I couldn't see any poking out.

'I tried to get her to show me where the needle was but we couldn't communicate. She told me she had accidentally knocked into a wall and the needle got in.'

Mrs Tan took Miss Dwi to a clinic nearby and was advised her to send her for an X-ray as the needle could travel through her blood and fatally pierce her heart.

They went to Changi General Hospital's accident and emergency department, where an X-ray was taken.  'The X-ray showed a 5cm-long needle embedded somewhere between her stomach and chest. The doctor said the needle had pierced her left liver but fortunately did not damage it.'  Miss Dwi was warded immediately and operated on the next day.

After her operation, she confessed to the hospital's counsellor and medical social worker that the injury had been self-inflicted.

Said Mrs Tan: 'She told them that she had used the rolling pin found in my kitchen to hammer a needle into herself on 26 Oct.'

While Miss Dwi was warded, Mrs Tan came across a four-page letter, dated 22 Oct, which she had written to her parents to complain about how different it was working in Singapore compared to her village.

She arrived here on 16 Sep and asked for a transfer after 10 days with her first employer as she found it hard to look after the children and his aged mother.

Mrs Tan said that when she and her husband first met Miss Dwi, she was all smiles. She spoke little English but had seemed eager to work.  'To communicate better with her, we signed up for courses to learn conversational Malay,' said Mrs Tan.

But it was a different story when they took her home to their five-room flat in Simei on 14 Oct.  Miss Dwi, whom the family called Wati, looked troubled and unhappy and three days later told Mrs Tan that she missed home.

Said Mrs Tan: 'I thought that was normal as my previous maid was also homesick at first. I told Wati she was now part of my family and could also treat us like her family. That seemed to pacify her.'

Mrs Tan paid Miss Dwi's hospital bill of about $5,000 and sent her to her maid agency, Nation Employment, after her discharge last Thursday.

When contacted, Mr Richard Ong, 50, a manager at Nation, said that Miss Dwi had asked for a transfer while working for her first employer.  'She did not tell the agency that she wanted to go back to Indonesia. If we'd known, we wouldn't have made her stay on in Singapore,' he said.

16 SEP TO 28 SEP 2008: Miss Dwi Susilowati works for first employer but asks for a transfer as she can't handle workload.
14 OCT: She starts work for Mrs Valerie Tan.
26 OCT: In an attempt to 'fall sick', she uses rolling pin to hammer sewing needle into stomach.
27 OCT: When it did not seem to work, she drinks two cups of detergent (far right) mixed with water. She later tells Mrs Tan about needle in her stomach.
28 OCT: Miss Dwi has surgery to remove needle.
30 OCT: She is discharged and sent back to maid agency.
31 OCT: Agency takes her to Indonesian Embassy where she writes undertaking stating that she was not forced to work here. She's then sent back to Indonesia.

* * * * * * 
What FDW shouldn't do: 

Loan shark maid, Melanie Jacalan Munar – AsiaOne, Sep 04, 2012

A Singaporean woman, 48-year-old Koh Suat Lay who has been found to have operated an unlicensed money-lending business with the help of her Filipina maid, Melanie Jacalan Munar was given a jail term of 33 months and fined $160,000.

The court heard that Munar had began helping fellow Filipino maids buy top-up Sim cards for mobile phones after two to three years into her job.

Payment from these maids would then be collected after they had received their salaries, the court heard.

After this came to light with Koh, she told Munar that she could lend her friends $300 to $500 and charge them a low interest rate.  An interest rate of 10 per cent to 50 per cent was charged to the maids, with the loan repayable over one to three months.

Loan shark maids – AsiaOne, Mar 10, 2011
68-year-old retiree, Lawrence Yeo forked out $80,000 to set up his illegal money-lending operation with one maid, 27-year-old Honey Irene Busto Pande. He and Pande charged 15 per cent on the loans and illegally lent money to 300 people - all of them maids - between June 2010 and January 2011, with sums between $100 and $700.

He later roped in three more maids, who were also his debtors, to be his runners. The three, Amparo Cacayuran Gayo, 36, Monalisa Carlos Siriban, 30 and Ma Consuelo Gonzales Deinla, 44, lent out money at an interest rate of 20 per cent, and made 5 per cent from the loans they issued.
Loan shark maid, Rebecca Andicoy Alcalde - Oct 13, 2008, The New Paper
She operated only on Sundays, her day off. She dished out loans of up to $300 to other maids.  Operating mostly at Lucky Plaza shopping centre on Orchard Road, Alcalde would charge 20 per cent interest on loans to cash-strapped foreign workers.

* * * * * * 
5 Apr - Unsound Myanmar maid making a scene.  Was fired for hopping onto strangers' vehicle to enjoy air-con.

* * * * * * 
Source: Water tank FDW – maid murdered by lover

The New Paper, Sunday, Mar 31, 2013

He was asked to demonstrate what he meant by dunking. Bending up and down at the waist, witness Md Repon Mostafa, 30, showed the court how his lover, Ms Ruliyawati, then 30, allegedly tried to drown herself by dunking her head repeatedly in the water.

The demonstration was requested by State Coroner Imran Abdul Hamid on the third day of the coroner's inquiry yesterday into the death of the Indonesian maid in May 2011.

Mr Repon, a Bangladeshi national, had been charged with her murder. He was granted a discharge not amounting to an acquittal in July last year.

Taking the stand as a witness, he claimed she tried to drown herself by repeatedly dunking her head in the water in spurts of two to three seconds. The claim was one of the two grey areas raised by State Coroner Mr Imran..

Another grey area that Mr Imran raised was the stab wounds found on Ms Ruliyawati's body. Out of the 15 stab wounds, pathologist Dr Chui singled out the two found on the right side of Ms Ruliyawati's back.

He said while it was possible for the two wounds to be self-inflicted, it would have been awkward and that most self-inflicted wounds are frontal.

He was working as a cleaner with Sergent Services at the time of the incident.  Mr Imran also asked Mr Repon if he had loved Ms Ruliyawati and whether she had ever demonstrated her love for him, to which Mr Repon said yes.

It was revealed in court that he also knew about her family in Indonesia - a husband and a four-year- old son - but it did not bother him.

The coroner's inquiry will resume on April 18, 2013.

* * * * * * 

15 Mar - Decided to create this page and paste postings (scroll down) that I've read related to bad maids, cheater, maid who was supposed to be blacklisted by MOM or reported to police due to bad conduct/illegal acts. 

MOM obviously didn't do any blacklisting because to MOM and activists, being a bad FDW, wrongly accusing employer, a cheater or to steal is not as bad as endangering somebody's life.  FDW can still be employed and welcome to cause agony to another unfortunate Spore family.  Employers are not allowed to post the cheater or bad maids’ Work Permit number, full names to warn others.  MOM and activists just want to maintain the good images of FDWs, make them look good while we are evil!

People like to give FDWs chances to cause problems here. Activists and MOM don’t believe maids are capable of causing harm or are such scheming women.  Activists felt FDWs had no choice, forced to be bad, under too much stress or felt no big deal to take ‘revenge on employers’.  There isn’t any report of bad maids being properly dealt with by law nor any reporter blowing up bad conduct maids constantly and alerting other FDW’s employers.  It doesn't pay to be a kind and honest employer.  You simply can't tell the truth and cause your bad maid to be stucked and can't be transferred out.

Will I live to see a day whereby Philippines and Indonesia learn not to take advantage of the FDW demand in Spore and leverage on our plight to the fullest?

For your info, most maids know that they must come Singapore to gain experience (stepping stone) before they can hop to Taiwan or Hong Kong. After painfully trained, FDWs get to hop out and given ‘better employment terms’.  They are mostly well behaved in Taiwan and HK but not in Singapore, why?  Because Spore had been too kind and allowed them to be spoilt brats?  It definitely has nothing to do with off days or salary.  If you talk about off days, it is mandatory to give weekly off or off compensation in-lieu (at least S$15 per day off).  Spore FDW not entitled to public holiday off but ‘entitled to repatriation’ = free one way air-ticket. 

Take a fresh Filipino starting pay of S$500 + $170 discounted levy, employer paid $670 per month, excluding other live-in costs.  This is comparable to what HK employers are paying for experienced maids, painfully trained by us.

I paid FDW based on market rate. I ensure she has 3 main meals and at least 8 hours rest. FDW has to take care of herself like an adult, responsible for her own actions/wilfulness and DO NOT EXPECT ME give in to her unreasonable demands in the name of ‘treating her human or upholding human rights (plain excuse)’.

I learnt not to empathize with maids and not to dish out any goodies for a maid who hasn’t prove herself as a good helper – probation period. As a working mother, I respect FDWs who worked hard for money in a honest and dignified manner.   We work in our companies and abide the company’s employment terms.  If unhappy, we resign and go for greener pasture.  We don't make our companies 'clean up' for us.  FDWs can job hop too but not in an immature and irresponsible manner, causing financial losses or harm to the employer/other family member.  If you’ve a good helper, show her appreciation or rewards for a job well done.  People liked to be praised and rewarded, don’t you?

I hope by highlighting more employers’ bad experiences, more people will be awakened and come to realize we’re not exaggerating, poor quality maids are gettiing too common, maids of extremely bad conduct have been encouraged by MOM to stay in Spore due to MOM’s pro-maid and pro-agency policies.

If you’ve a blog or have the means to help FDWs’ employer, please open your heart and help us.  Don’t let Singaporeans be so unfairly treated like ATM machines.  We too are humans; we’re vulnerable but are we treated equally?  Just because we are not Expatriates, loaded with cash and able to offer ‘abnormal pay package’ so we’ve to be treated in such manner …. as a form of punishment or penalised to be a Sporean who is not wealthy?

* * * * * * 
Source: Acquitted of abusing maid, February 27, 2013
When Ms Chan Sau Man heard the words “not proven”, she burst into tears.

The 29-year-old was yesterday acquitted of maid abuse, three years since she was accused in 2010.  Speaking to The New Paper outside the courtroom yesterday, Ms Chan called the aquittal an end to “three years of hell”.

Her troubles started in early 2010 when she first hired Myanmar national Rebecca Ne Moe, who ran away from home on June 9 that year.

The next day, Ms Chan received a call from the police, who said Ms Ne Moe had made a police report, accusing her employer of hitting her.

Yesterday, a judge acquitted her of the three charges of maid abuse, saying that the prosecution has not proven their case beyond reasonable doubt.

= = = = =
Roger Choo C K: And what happen to that lying scumbitch maid? Sent home? That's it? The accuser need to be punish for causing grievance to the accused. What message are we sending to the foreigners working here? That if they just run away and made a police reports, they can get their employer into troubles? And that is their trump card to deal with employers?

Joey Ho: Do you not feel that the maid should be punished had you been the one to be wrongly accused, not knowing what sentence you would receive should the maid have been successful? The amount of shame and embarrassment potentially affecting your personal life and career during this period of three years, should the false-accuser not be punished?

Permalink: The trial lasted 9 days spread over 8 months. More than enough time to prove this case results otherwise. We have heard mostly conviction of either maid abuse or maid's extreme acts in harming the employer/family. Is it because there was no conviction in this case hence it raised more eyebrows and leaves more people thinking that there must be something more than it?

* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      February 26, 2013
Lessons learnt :
1. Be very alert all the time, even maids with >6 years of service. Even when they go on off-days. Keep alert things that gets into your house, as they could be thieves collection of the day! I always lock my room when we're out & explain it's best for both parties. I don't hv valuables in my common areas. We suspect a syndicate working to sell off items. They cld be pros, converting monies & valuables to sth non-identifiable & non-decript that you can't identify. NO EVIDENCE TO CHARGE!

2. Do not spoil maids by giving extras, or worse use them in diff households. It's illegal & it'll come back & haunt.

3. Stand firm, do not be taken in by sob stories! We lost a couple more maids previously with promises to return on two-way tickets bcos husband died, mother gravely ill & lost loads of agency fees & advance loans by these FDW ruse! I've been gullible, now I'll not give away misplaced compassion bcos no one will feel sorry & help me pay for my mistaken compassions!

4. I learnt not to budge & will not take maids who insist on off-days & hdp, even when I offer compensated rest-days. My family is small & simple. Weekends, we bring kids out & FDW comes along with paid meals.

5. MOM let slip after 2nd e'yer filed blacklist. How can we not be constantly on guard against harm to our families. Those who are too busy to notice or slack, just waiting for similar detergent down child's throat incident to happen.

6. As Spore pop ages, can't imagine how embolden FDW hv more chances to do things on the sly, right b4 their cataract eyes, swifter limbs in action than then slow reaction of our seniors, etc etc.

7. Report straight away if a maid is found to hv committed a crime. Our society has become very complex, sympathizing that you do not cut off their livelihoods means ano possible opportunity for FDW to steal, harm & enjoy life @ e'yer's expenses.

8. I'm reasonably phobic abt FDW off-days bcos I see big crowds of FDW (maids & Indian construction workers) at our MRTs, Sentosa in sweet embraces, etc. I can't imagine them passing diseases to our kids esp one of my young Indo maid drank my children's milk & stole their yogurt!

In short, our quality of life is gone. How is the govt to help us provide good help at home so that mothers can contribute to economy? How to encourage people to marry & pro-create when my single friends see us struggle with FDW stresses?

FDW's name : Tri Hapsaxx Wulandaxx
WP No : 0 XXXX923-
DOB. : 20 Nov 1978

* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      February 26, 2013
Suspicions :
1. I checked all new maids belongings in their presence & this maid sent shivers of worries with her jewelry receipts value btwn $350 to $800 & actual gold articles were present in her bags, some Shanghai Tang, Arthur Yens, etc branded clothes, claiming her previous employers gave them. Got her to list all her valuables on entry to my home & instructed tt she not bring any items into my home unless bought with her salary nor is she to carry any of my items out. She wrote them, I left it on the table being distracted my kids, and it disappeared in minutes! She denied. (alarm set off in my mind)

2. She goes out in big bags & did came back with new items "given by sister" - classy clothes, gold shoes, packets of medications She claimed are for her pimples & slimming pills (all Bahasa descriptions). Btw, the last couple of days before repatriation, I started having giddiness & diahorea not knowing why, but noticed that week she never ate lunch claiming not feeling well, but caught sight of her munching on the quiet. Alarms again.

3. Her greed, selfishness & meanness came thro when we noticed our Australian milo was in its 4th tin in 6 weeks (remember her hunger presence?), tissue boxes all used up & toilet paper blamed it on my kids' wastage. She'll keep my herbal soup aside for herself, salmon fish, etc, etc. Her eyes is always scanning around when we're out shopping, etc... All the maids she meets - our condo, SIL, friends', etc - she starts initiating chats & we noticed they were all so engaged & attentive, even tho she was whispering!

4. Frequent excuses, same aim to get out of employment. In one effort to give excuses, she slipped by saying she was wrongly accused by her ex-employer for stealing & showed me an sms. I made a mental record of the ex- hdp no & contacted the day before repatriating her.

5. Upon asking how she came to have so much jewelry & yet hv $5,000 to build house, she claimed her first e'yer gave her the money. Strong alarms....

Lo & behold! The ex- crfmed the accusation of theft which was translated to a police report & MOM, but she still slip thro to my employment! The police came to question & I sent her straight to airport & Jakarta (home-country, not hometown) & told her never to return as investigation is still on-going & that she will be arrested once she returns.

More shock :
1. Her very 1st e'yer, revealed that she suffered stress after renewing contract & gave off-days. She certainly did not compensate her except for a small sum & that she is not suitable to work as FDW in Spore. She deceived, lied, stole, changed attitude,etc. Problem was this e'yer cld hv relieved future e'yers fr employing her, but she did not report her. There is a reason - this FDW cared for cancer stricken father, then mentally ill brother after father's demise. Whilst caring for bro, FDW was paid EXTRA bit to clean ano bros' house. Btw, apparently whilst FDW came back Spore to work for 2nd e'yer, in the 1st week, she went to 1st e'yer's block & contacted her wanting to return. 1st e'yer had to change door locks, terminate phone, etc.

2. I was told she has a Malay b'frd. Btw, this lady is awlfully older than 34 years old, with very, very long balding hair patches & lots of pimples.
* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      February 25, 2013
last year i had same experience (a myanmar )she pkt my kids $ too.. then ran away after 4 hrs and a police report.. she went back to the agency. After that in 2012, I had 3 changes of 2 new phil and 1 transfer Myanmar maid who wanted to leave after 1-4 mths. Real bad maid experience in 2012.

* * * * * * 
Source:  Tamarind's blog      February 25, 2013
I regularly read yr blog for updates & had even venture to take a maid thro one of yr contributors. In fact, I found out she has more than 2 hdp, access to laptop & posses fbk accounts! I shld hv known better.

I had meant to share my recent ordeal, but so hard to be very discreet so as not to alert the perpetrator(s), yet hopefully help other employers identify any similar activities, to report or send their maids off, never to inflict any obvious or subtle stresses & sufferings to innocent families by reporting to MOM.

I took a transfer maid who wanted off-days & high salary, coming back thro Batam. I agreed only to pay her according to market practice when she arrives (that happened in Dec 2012). We gave her only once a week, and that she has to start a POSB account for clear accounting purposes.

She started off quite easy for 1st week with light work to adjust herself in. She was to wash our work clothes by-hand & I put other laundry myself. She did some laundry, hence deceived us in believing she has no problem, but kept asking me the operation of my washer. That was when I found 2 weeks' laundry piled up. I began to noticed all the half-baked household cores - creased ironing, altho we're a small 3 pax family, she'll be in the ironing room from 10am till 4pm (breaking for lunch). I then discovered she had been hiding her hdp, pretending to iron whenever I peeped in.

Our maid went off hurriedly for her first rest-day, even when my hubby told her to wait for me to check her bag. She took a big bulgy bag. I gave her an extra CNY day-off, instructing that she should leave the house togather after breakfast, going on her own way whilst we head for church. I woke up to a shock when she just left the house whilst we're still asleep & the door unlocked!

When she returned & upon being queried, she started her "I want to go home" ruse in a variety of excuses for the next 5-6 weeks to come! e.g. Her contractor is asking for more money & stall her home building; the contractor will harm her mother if she don't return; her daughter needs to register University & need her bio data & signature, her daughter wants her to go with her to Bali school excursion; last week was "my daughter has very high fever & needs the doctor". She couldn't moved us in any way, but I asked her which story was the truth, and that she should be responsible to complete at least a year's work commitment, but each time she would keep her cool & came up with other ruse.

As her attitude & behaviour had sent several signals to add to my other suspicions, we began to plan for her repatriation.

* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      February 19, 2013
I just stumbled upon this site and it gives me strength during this difficult time.
I have been played out by maids so many times that i am seriously reassessing the situation if we can do without one.
The last one just used our wifi and pc, made long distance calls on our phone and put together some fake story about her father dying and she has to go home. The numner of lies she has concocted makes one question humanity, esp when she is a grduate who is highly intelligent.
The reality is if women are expected to work and the government and agencies do not ensure quality and screening, how can we leave out kids at home with such help?
Sigh. If anyone has an alternative solution to offer, please drop a note. If you have a helper to recommend, please let me know. I have 3 girls (3,6,10 years). Only the youngest is at home half day. Helper's responsibiility includes household chores,, childcare and simple cooking.

* * * * * * 
Source: Maid flees, 10-month-old baby left alone in the house, February 18, 2013

Madam Norizan Rashid returned to her flat and found her 10-month-old baby in her walker, crying and alone.

The front door and gate were ajar, with the keys dangling from the gate.
Her domestic helper, a 24-year-old Indonesian, was missing.

* * * * * * 
Source: Maid caught napping in master bedroom      February 2013
* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      February 18, 2013
I hired a filipino fresh maid at the end of year 2012. After working 2.5 days and barely done any works, she claimed to be home sick and asked to be sent home. Her family sent money to return agency. But no compensation for me from maid. Agency only agreed to replace another maid free of charge as it was maid's fault for terminating the contract.

Now, I have just hired a filipino maid with 5 yrs experience in Singapore. Yet barely a month, she connected to my house wifi without permission. Access facebook in the morning when no one is in the house, use hp.. when questioned, she argued she has finished her work.

After the night before when I sat down and talked to her to highlight on her job performance and on areas which I would like to see improvements, she rang agency to complain about me to a filipino agent instead of the one who handle her case. Rattled about how demanding I was, having to mop the floor a few times a day. Works never ending.

I asked if work is never ending, how come she has time to chat on hp and get on facebook, even has the cheek to add me as a friend.
Many times, laundry were badly ironed, not fold till 2 days. Floor not sweep properly.
She make this remark when I commented that her hygiene and cleaniness level is below my average expectation - 'Singaporeans all like to be cleaned'

Yesterday, my agent has a harsh conversation with her. I even asked her, you mean ex employer do not expects you to sweep and mop the floor, clean up after cooking?
You mean in philippines, you do not clean up after cooking?
I said wow.. your house must be dirty. No wonder you mentioned that ex employer complained about cockroaches, ants and even rats.

Complained that I compared her with ex Indo maid whose salary is lower yet was doing a even proper job than her, whom have 5 yrs experience. Did I say anything wrong in this case?

It's like this maid is telling me as her employer, you just pay salary to me, let me do what I want, listen to me. I can go out early on off day and return home late. Don't complain that I am not clean as I have done my best. Don't ask me to clean too many times as even how many times I clean, the house will still be dirty.

I really wondered why they bothered to come to work at all. They think Singaporeans or employers are stupid?

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Source:  Singapore

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Source:  Filipino maid - the seducer,  March 10, 2012

Winter:  I must honestly say I don't like to see my FDW wearing revealing clothes, in spagetti top or extremely short pants, appearing in my eyes.  Other people's FDW, I don't care but mine cannot wear such clothes.  She can go and change in a public toilet during off days but if she wants to appear in mine or family's eyes, she has to pretend decent and conservative.

* * * * * * 
Source: Tamarind's blog      November 21, 2012
Hi Organic orchard
Not sure u are laising same person with the maid's friend recommen.
She give me a problematic maid. I hv arrange n paid for everything to bring her fm indonesia to singapore. After1 month she said her ex employer alway bring for tour n she hv home leave every 5-6month.
She doent look like come here work, she want freedom alway hv holiday. omg where got such maid????
Almost faited, she want me to release her next month.... how... last min where to get baby care?

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Bugsfire said...
I think I know who is organic orchard and another employer is talking about. I have contacted this maid to look for a helper and then she called me and told me she herself is looking for an employer. There were many alarms that went off when I spoke to her. I suggest that employers here do not believe her and I really doubt the friends that she recommend are good helpers unless you can get their employer for reference.

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Source:  Indonesian maid did this to 3 month old baby, Oct, 2012

Samuel Lim Hong Xiang was only three months old when one of his grandmother's maids poured sulphuric acid down his throat, causing severe damage to his tongue, throat and vocal chords.

The maid was jealous of another maid who was also working in the grandmother's home, and had wanted to use the attack to get her into trouble. Her plan failed, and she was subsequently jailed for eight years in 2000.

The injuries sustained from the attack was so bad that nobody expected Samuel to survive but the boy defied the odds by pulling through. However, the 13-year-old boy now has to rely on tubes inserted into his neck and stomach for breathing and feeding respectively.

Even though he is unable to consume food normally, like other boys his age, Samuel has never complained about it. In fact, he told the Straits Times: "I just find food disgusting."

More than 10 years since the horrific attack, a group of paediatric surgeons are now hoping to give Samuel a chance to get a taste of regular food by attempting to reconstruct Samuel's gullet and, hopefully, his upper airway as well.

* * * * * * 
Source:  Maid smoked in front of baby, September 2012

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Source:  3 day into job, Maid stole  September 2012
While at work, he logged in through his mobile phone linked to the closed-circuit television camera at home to check on his new maid.

To his horror, the business owner saw the maid taking money from his daughter's piggy bank in the study room.  He rushed home immediately and managed to catch the maid red-handed just as she was trying to hide her loot.

Seeing that she was trying to hide something in her cupboard, he checked it and found many notes and coins.  About $200 of the money found in the cupboard was from his daughter's piggy bank, while more than $1,000 had earlier been stolen from his wife's cabinet, he said.

Mr Tay took the maid, who was only three days into her job, to the maid agency where he questioned her.  When she denied stealing the money, he played the CCTV recording on his phone for her.  She was surprised and later admitted to her deeds.

* * * * * * 
Source:  Tamarind's blog      September 6, 2012
FDW Fined $100 only because she had lousy employer!!
She has good reason to hurt the boy? Sounds like it is alright since her employers were at fault. It looked ok for maid to vent her anger.

Published on Sep 06, 2012, Straits Times
An Indonesian maid had pleaded guilty on Thursday to flicking her fingers at the face of the two-year-old boy in her care, causing a swollen lip.

Leni Yusanti was fined $100 after District Judge Low Wee Ping agreed with her lawyer that it had been an exceptional case, noting the "very troubling, worrying and startling facts" about how she was treated by her Singaporean employers.

Defence counsel Freddie Lim had said that Yusanti, 25, was made to work from 6am to 1am or 2am every day. Her breakfast of two slices of bread was at about 8am; lunch of a packet of instant noodles was often at 5pm and dinner of either the family's leftovers or instant noodles often after midnight. She slept on a mat on the kitchen floor.

Her employers also did not pay her in full and it was only after intervention by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) did they settle the outstanding sum of $300, said her lawyer.

= = = = =
agreed. she could have asked to leave or secretly call agent for help. afterall must have been alone to flip her finger so many times until boy's lips swollen or call MOM. all of them gets a prepaid envelope when they come.

and a defenseless little boy somemore.

i don't think i have ever read that in view of the "stress of the stuipidity, refusal to learn,stubborness,refusal to move faster (my maid moves slightly faster than my irobot and thus all the rain comes in),breaking of stuff, pickiness of food, black face and tantrums of maid", maid employers were given a much much lighter sentence for abuse. its not like employers can just walk away from a bad maid.

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I wonder how the judge verified that the maid told the truth about how she was treated. If it was true, the judge should also punish the employer, and then punish the maid more harshly. No matter what the employer has done, the boy is innocent and should not be become an object for the maid to vent her anger.

Actually I find it hard to believe that the employer ill treated the maid. Usually employers are not that dumb, they know that if they treat the maid badly, then she may torture the kids.

* * * * * * 
Maid stole, lied about beating by employer,   August 2012, 

An Indonesian maid was jailed for five months for stealing at least $1,600 worth of items from her employer; for fraudulently having goods and money suspected of being stolen; and for giving false information to the police.

Tri Lestari, 31, had lied to police that she was assaulted by her employer Ms Roslina Ng Rosli, 37 and her husband, reported The Straits Times.

In February this year, Tri Lestari had gone to the house of the maid agent's mother-in-law and handed over a large bag of items which she claimed contained clothing, for "safekeeping".  The bag was later found to contain two watches, two pairs of shoes, a handbag and 66 pieces of assorted clothing amounting to at least $1,600, all stolen from her employer.  Other items including a gold pendant, two gold brooches and various currencies, were also found.

The court heard that on Feb 29, her employer's neighbour lodged a police report after he found her crying and asking for help.  She told police Ms Ng and her husband had accused her of theft and hit her to force her to admit.
* * * * * * 
Source:  One off day to be a woman - needy FDW,   August 15, 2012, by Kirsten

It’s no secret that we as a society are very dependent on Foreign Domestic Workers (FDWs) to help us do housework, prepare meals and care for our children. Through the hard work of many labour rights advocates we’ve heard of the many issues that face a FDW in Singapore, whether it be abuse, exploitation or even just difficulty in adjusting to life away from home. The stories of the FDWs who come to live and work in Singapore are an aspect of Singaporean life, and deserve to be told.

“Young men wake up early and flock to their hunting grounds, knowing well that the early bird gets the worm. Waiting, hungry for the delicacies. The dominant ones quench their thirst in this oasis teeming with young needy women.”

“They have one day, and for many this is all they have. One day a month to enjoy being young, to enjoy being a woman. Their basic human instincts churn them forward urgently into the arms of waiting males preening above the escalators in Lucky Plaza, so lonely and driven are these lovelies.” (over music about rabbits who don’t ever get married, but we all know what rabbits do, right?)

Laid over shots of Filipino domestic workers on their off day at Lucky Plaza, the voiceover turns a human interest story into a wildlife documentary about beasts mating in the savannah. Referencing FDWs as “lonely and driven”, “young needy women”, even patronisingly referring to them as “these lovelies”, the documentary automatically distances the viewer from the subjects. They are presented as alien Others that we cannot relate to. Surely these desperate, needy lovelies can’t be like us? We watch them as if we don’t congregate in malls on our days off, as if we don’t ever speak to (or hold hands with) members of the opposite sex, as if we don’t have boyfriends/girlfriends of our own. Instead of realising that FDWs are people just like us who do pretty much the same things that we do, we’re made to watch them voyeuristically as if they’re animals during mating season.

Even more insidious is the fact that many of those shots of women clustering with their friends or talking to men are totally innocuous when standing alone, but the voiceover adds seedy overtones, as if the filmmakers assume that as long as an FDW talks to a man they must be having it away in some dodgy corner of Lucky Plaza. After all, she only has one day to “enjoy being a woman”, right?

The filmmakers spoke to an employment agent. They spoke to HOME, an NGO that does amazing work with FDWs. For a precious few moments they tried to raise issues like employee-employer relations, labour laws, exploitation, abuse, flouting regulations, over-working FDWs, under-paying FDWs – all big problems in urgent need of exposure – but these are never further examined and are left as token mentions. Yet the filmmakers return again and again to their obsession with the fact that these women might just be having sex or – and this is almost worse – being preyed upon for sex on their days off.

At no point in the documentary is there the voice of an FDW on dating. No one asks an FDW if she is being seduced by men, or if she’s really “lonely and driven”, flinging herself “urgently” into the arms of any man lurking by the escalator, as the filmmakers would have us believe. It is simply assumed that these “lovelies” are being seduced because they are young and needy, as if it is beyond the realm of possibility that a Filipina working as an FDW could be an independent-minded woman perfectly capable of deciding whether she wants to get together with a man or not.

I’ve been working professionally for about three years now, writing articles and blog posts, taking photos and working on documentary films. It’s not a very long time to be working, and there are many people who are far more experienced and savvy than I am. But even in this comparatively short time I’ve spent working, I’ve learnt that one of the most basic rules in storytelling is to never, never, see people as anything other than what they are – human beings just like you and me. They may have different cultures, religions, languages, opinions, perspectives, values, clothing, customs, habits, food, but at the end of the day they are still people and you never portray them as less than that.

I don’t care whether they were friendly or mean, or if they’re a big-hearted philanthropist or a bank robber. You can praise their ideals or criticise their actions as much as you like, but you do not Other them in a way that makes your audience look at them as less than human.

After all, as Terry Prachett wrote in his book Carpe Jugulum: “And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things.”

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AntoniaMaino: Perspective is everything, Kirsten, what you perceive as sexist, is one of the ways we acknowledge their being as a “human”. We are all on this earth because someone at some point of time felt like having sex with somebody. We are all output of this phenomenal basic instinct. Universe has bestowed upon us, responsibility of producing and reproducing; associated with it pleasure ‘incomparable’ to anything. After 8 hours of work in office, you can go home have sex with your boyfriend, or with your husband or anyone you like. However maid is expected to live in the realm set by her employer 24 by 7. This is more or less because employee is legally responsible in Singapore for anything that happens to her. Anything happen to FDW , employer is subjected to financial loss (other than Salary and levy he pays). If you think we are living in civilized world, think again. We are all living in the Jungle, we are animals, we all have our basic instincts that can define our choices, instincts that drive our decisions. We are all controlled by Government, we all live with dogmas, ruled by TV.

Kixes:  AntoniaMaino Perhaps I'm not being clear. I'm not objecting to the fact that the domestic workers are shown to be flirting, having boyfriends and/or having sex. I think we are all agreed (at least in this comments section so far) that it is their right and there is nothing wrong with them engaging in sexual activity just like everyone else.

Referring to FDWs as "young needy women", reducing them to "lovelies"... is this being fair? Would YOU like to be described in such a way – especially if your image is being used in relation to this voiceover, but the description may or may not actually be referring to you? Does it really help the audience relate to the subjects when they are labelled as needy young lovelies? When they are referred to as "delicacies" for predatory men to pick off, as if they have no powers of self-determination? They are not lovelies. They are not delicacies. They are women. There is a difference between recognising their right to be sexual beings, and wantonly sexualising them in a voyeuristic documentary.

Read: Man, a maid's desire
Domestic helper Rezzilyn Lodia Vinegas had kept her relationship with a foreign worker a secret, until the couple was found dead in a hotel room in Geylang, according to a report published in The New Paper.

Vinegas had been working with her current employer for 15 months and appeared to have had no problems with her work. Her facebook page however, was full of unhappy postings on love and relationships.

Read: Contaminating others with a maid's dead body
After reading news about the body of a maid found in a water tank on the roof of Block 686B Woodlands Drive 73, STOMPer curious wonders how the alleged killer managed to drag the body all the way to the rooftop and gain access to the water tank.

According to the report in The Straits Times, the 30-year-old Indonesian maid was allegedly murdered by her 27-year-old Bangladeshi boyfriend on Monday (May 16).

The boyfriend, who has been arrested by police, is believed to have had access to the rooftop of the Woodlands block and dumped the body into one of the eight water tanks there.

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Source:  Baby as hostage?  August 9, 2012
Some residents in Choa Chu Kang witnessed a peculiar sight on Tuesday evening.

A maid -- carrying a naked baby in one hand and pulling a black trolley suitcase in another -- was walking around in circles and screaming in the middle of the open-air carpark below Block 233, Choa Chu Kang, said housewife Monnette Andrade.

The maid fell to the ground shortly after. When a man and his son approached her, she put up a struggle and had to be pinned down on the grass patch, another resident said.

The police were called and the maid was eventually taken to the National University Hospital.

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Source:  Maid's sex diary  July 2012

"Our maid was caught hiding our items in her cabinet which included undergarments, new baby's clothes with hair on them, 4 notebooks containing erotic diary entries and clippings showing sexy women from magazines and newspapers, a Swiss Army knife, make-up accessories and toiletries.

"Cash amounting to $700 of different currencies was also recovered on her during the search conducted by the maid agency staff.   "However, we were advised that the onus falls on us to prove that the cash belongs to us. But how to prove?

"The maid, when exposed in front of the agency staff, was still arrogant and walked away thinking that we cannot do anything to convict her!

"We can tolerate anything but not when the safety of our baby is compromised. She was also found covering our then 1 month old baby with her sarong from head to toe in the middle of the night.

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Source:  Treated well but maid stole  April 2012

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Source:  Filipina need companionship,  March 10, 2012
Tara, 23, came here to work as a maid two years ago.
The Filipina does not get a day off, as her employers do not want her to mix with “bad company” when she goes out on her own.

Little do they know that she started dating one of the condominium’s security guard six months ago.

The maid, who is married in the Philippines with a four-year-old son, has even invited her boyfriend to her employers’ apartment on two occasions when no one was home.

She says that she needs love and companionship too.

= = = =

Winter:   If any employer tries to report to maid's hubby about her infidelity, I believe modern FDWs will shoot their employers claiming they are human and have the rights to satisfy their desires, regardless whether she is married with a living husband. 

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Source:  Maid gets 10 years for killing 'demanding' boss, March 8, 2012
Just five days into her job here, she was contemplating murdering her elderly employer whom she found to be impatient, demanding and verbally abusive.

That night in November 2009, the Indonesian maid, Vitria Depsi Wahyuni (below), then 16, strangled Madam Sng Gek Wah after a vicious, violent struggle.

Yesterday, she was jailed 10 years for manslaughter.
Dr Parvathy Pathy, the Institute of Mental Health psychiatrist who had examined the maid, said Vitria's young age “with its increased tendency for poor impulse control, low frustration tolerance, and immature and poor problem-solving skills” probably tipped the balance.

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Irish Centenoso: sad that these agencies let these teens work like that. MOM should be more responsible and do something with these agencies. Agencies are drowning these maids with high fees with no rest days, etc etc. They even help these young people to falsify documents just to come to singapore and work. They are teens, what do you expect? They are in a win/win situation, charging both maids and employers, then doesn't give a fxxx! if anything happens.. agencies, keep the money comin'! Bravo!

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Source:  Maid dumped dementia and ran away, Jan 2012

STOMPer Lynette's maid ran away to the embassy because she couldn't handle

Lynette's dementia-ridden mother. She thinks it's unfair that employers have no one to turn to when their maids give them trouble.

She says:
"I would like to indicate a concerning trend of maids running away to their embassy, and how maid agencies can flip their earnings from this act.

"Since the intervention of the embassy, where all new maids are educated about their rights and to seek help at the embassy, there have been many cases of ‘runaway maids'.

"I have been getting maids from Maid-Power Agency P L located at Lucky Plaza; this is the third maid since 2010.

"The only way we can establish if the maid is suitable for my mum with dementia is through the bio-data provided by the agency and the maid’s work experience.

"The maid ran away to the embassy and left my mum at the dialysis centre one day, as she could not handle my mum anymore after 2 weeks of trying.

"The embassy kept her from Jan 5 and was only picked up by Maid-Power Agency on Jan 9 (after several attempts to call the embassy).  "The embassy only looks after the interests of the maid, and the agency had since made another $1100 in service fees from the same maid.

"When maid needs help they can go to their embassy, but for us we can only go to our bank account.  "Each change of maid costs us money."

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Source:  Maid frames employer's mother for abuse, December 15, 2011

Desperate to return home, she spun a tall tale that her employer's mother had abused her.

Filipino maid Ronalyn Espiritu Reintegrado, 31, even had the "injuries" to show for it.

And she maintained her accusation even when told by police that Madam Ng Gek Hong, 69, was not home at that time.

But when she was shown Madam Ng's ez-link card transaction records showing that she had taken a bus and left the flat about an hour before the alleged assault, Reintegrado broke down and admitted that she had lied.

Yesterday, she pleaded guilty and was jailed eight weeks on one count of giving false information to a public servant.

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Source:  2 weeks into job, Maid stole and ran   Nov 2012

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Source:  The live-in filipino house thief    July 2011

Jenny was our first maid, we hired her after Didi was born. When I first fetched her home, she looked very scared and unhappy; she looked much thinner than the photo in her biodata. I understand that this was the first time she left her home and family, she has a son and husband back in Philippine, she’s been missing her son terribly. I cheered her up whenever she was crying because of homesick, I gave her whatever freedom she wanted like calling home or going downstairs to chat with her fellow Philippino friends, I even let her go to the shopping mall opposite my house thinking that she would know the limit…..

She told me the life in training centre was very hard, she need to wake up at 4am and start the house chores till 10pm before she could turn in. She told me I’m a very good employer, she said she’s happy to work for me, she also said she likes my children and she’ll not ill-treat them…….

Every weekday she followed me and my kids to my babysitter’s house. My babysitter was good to her, she cooked lunch and dinner for her, let her nap in the afternoon, and gave her many clothes and soft toys for her to send back Philippine. She once told me Madam (she addressed my babysitter as Madam) was her only friend in Singapore . She was looking forward to go to my babysitter house everyday.

In late April, which was about 1.5 months after my maid came, my babysitter texted me that she lost a $100 note in her drawer.

My maid denied immediately that she did not steal her money, my babysitter told her that all human make mistakes, but my maid insisted she did not take the money.
Last week, I received my starhub phone bill, to my horror, I saw Derrick has many international calls to Philippine. Obviously, my maid is using Derrick’s phone to call home without asking our permission.

Suppressing my anger, pretending to be calm, I asked her why did she used the phone without getting our permission, she kept silent, I told her not to repeat it, and I would deduct the amount from her next month pocket money. She asked me how much and said sorry about what she’d done. After half an hour, she came knocking my door, she told me I cannot deduct her pocket money, if not she would have no money to buy top up card to call home. I was angry when she said “no money”, as she had been spending her money generously and I knew she had money hiding in her drawer.

I called my babysitter, my babysitter told me the maid said she wanted to work for employer without baby and old people, as it would be hard to look after them. This confirmed my thought that she definitely wanted to leave me, I must send her to agency now, I must not give her time to prepare and hide her stolen money. I got a colleague to accompany me to bring her from my babysitter’s house to my house for packing. When I reached my babysitter’s house, I asked her whether she wants to go back agency, she told me yes. She gave me the look of “so what? Send me back la, I can change employer”, I felt like slapping her, but I took a deep breath and told her to get going.
However, I told her, despite what she had done to me and my babysitter, I hope she had learned her lesson and she would be going back to meet her family soon. I told her we treated her like our family member, I shared my food with her whenever we go restaurant, I let her use the same toiletries as mine, and Chloe always say she loves Aunty Jenny, she was part of my family, yet she disappointed us. It was not the money that we had lost matter, but the trust, the relationship, the feeling that were hurt. I wished her a farewell.

She was sent back home on 30 Jun after her husband settled part of her remaining loan. I had written to MOM on blacklisting her to work in Singapore again.

* * * * * * 
Source:  Tuberculosis – Indonesian maid, July 28, 2011

The maid she had hired to help look after her grandchildren had passed all the necessary checks and procedures, including a medical examination as required by the Ministry of Manpower.

So Madam Loh Kham Hwa gave little thought when Ms Siti Rohama, an Indonesian, started coughing when she stepped into Madam Loh's car from the agency in January.

However, the cough didn't disappear and it was only on June 1 that the 56-year-old housewife discovered the root of the problem when Ms Siti was diagnosed with tuberculosis.

Winter: Are maids here to work or to be cured?  The real motive is to get free medical.
Why maid with illness can pass her medical check-up?  
What’s wrong with our system?

Read: MOM's reply on health screening for Maids
"We are sorry to note that Ms Noorlina and her son have been presented with positive Mantoux tests after prolonged contact with their FDW. MOH is currently reviewing the TB screening done for Ms Noorlina’s FDW to ensure that the test results were accurate. We would also like to urge them to complete their treatment and wish them the best of health."

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Source:  A complacent maid, April 28, 2011
My maid is from Profits Agency Pte (PAP) and she has worked for me for a long time. Her mother worked for my parents and did an excellent job, so I had faith in her. For several years her performance has been very good, but recently she has become arrogant and insensitive, and is making lots of mistakes.

For example:
1) She flooded my kitchen – she told me that the drain pipe has blocked (she was supposed to clear it once a month but didn’t). Then she assured me that it is very rare and won’t happen again in the near future. Guess what? It flooded again within a year!

2) She didn’t close a window and my terrier dog escaped. I was so worried cos he is dangerous and could bite lots of people. After the incident, she didn’t apologise and just shrugged her shoulders saying “What to do, it has happened.” Fortunately my neighbor found the dog and we locked it up again.

3) Without consulting me, she has been bringing in strangers for my house’s maintenance work. She says they charge low wages and keep costs down, but they eat my food, make a lot of noise and rest on my bed. I think they even tried to seduce my husband. It stopped feeling like my home, more like a cheap hotel, and I don’t always want to come back at the end of the day.

4) When she first came to work for me, I instructed her to clean the different parts of the house at least once a week. But for some time she has stopped taking care of the bedrooms of PP and H; they are now dirty and messy. I asked why and she told me that the kids had been disobedient, so she was neglecting their bedrooms as a punishment (she has forgotten that she is paid to clean all the rooms).

Even though my maid has worked for me for many years and I value what she has done in the past, I think she is now getting complacent. Her attitude is imperious and dismissive. She ignores my comments and basically treats my feedback as “noise”. I wrote to the agency about her behavior; they assured me that they are the best agency around and all their maids are “Committed to Serve” – but I think it is just rhetoric and I don’t see that in her actions. Her salary is much higher than maids in other countries, but the agency say this is to keep her honest and stop her moving to another employer. They say there is a limited supply of maids, and Singapore isn’t big enough for more than one good maid agency, so I should not trust their competitors.

I have to decide whether to renew my maid’s 5-year employment contract. When we discussed this she said that she is now part of a team, and if I want her I must also accept her friends doing part-time work for me. One friend is very inexperienced, can’t do basic tasks or explain what she intends to do. I suspect that she is actually underage. When interviewed, she only seemed interested in her days-off and visiting Universal Studios.

When she couldn’t answer my questions she stomped her foot and exclaimed, “I don’t know what to say!” But I am still expected to pay her a high salary. Now there happen to be a few other maid agencies – Workhard Pte (WP), New Solutions Pte (NSP), Super Personnel Pte (SPP) and Star Domestica Pte (SDP) – that offered me some helpers who seem sincere, genuine and intelligent. They are keen to work, willing to assist me and have a good attitude. I know that they may take a bit of time to learn how everything works, but frankly I am inclined to give them a chance.

People say that the devil you know is better than one you don’t. But I feel that I can’t tahan my current maid anymore.
* * * * * * 
Source:  Maid, the abuser was caught on CCTV, March 2011

THE videos were heartbreaking to watch.

In one of them, the one-year-old girl was crying while the maid, who was lying next to her on the mattress, kept hitting her tiny body.

When she did not stop crying, the Indonesian maid, Desi Kurnia, now 17, carried her and flung her back onto the mattress.  The cries got louder, so Desi put a pillow over the baby's face. She then placed her leg on the pillow, smothering the little girl as she struggled for air.

As the videos were played in court yesterday, Desi could not bear to watch them. She stood hunched in the dock and buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Desi's age was initially given as 25. But investigations after her arrest showed that she was only 16 at the time of the offences.  As her lawyer, Mr Loo Eng Teck, told the court, Desi herself is still a child.

In another video, filmed on Dec 2, 2009, Desi was seen preparing milk in the kitchen when the baby crawled towards her crying.  Instead of picking up the little girl, the maid kicked her and walked away.  The baby wailed loudly and crawled desperately after Desi.

She crawled from the kitchen to the living room, then to the bedroom, back to the living room and finally to the kitchen, following Desi wherever the latter went. But Desi ignored her.  Finally, the maid went back into the bedroom and closed the door, preventing the baby from entering.

In another clip, the baby was left crying alone in the bedroom. She could not leave the room as the door was shut.  The girl could barely stand properly as she pounded the door with her little fists, trying to attract Desi's attention.

Again, her pleas were ignored.  When Desi finally opened the door about a minute later, she pushed the wailing baby down hard onto a mattress near the door. She slapped the girl repeatedly on her buttocks and arms, scolding her at the same time.  She shook the girl violently before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Source:  Firing a sneaky maid 2009
A dumb maid can still give chance and be trained.
A bad and sneaky maid by nature, has to go

Source: Where's The Safeguard Against Cleverly Abusive Maids? 
- MOM website, 2009, extracted from the Straits Times

I am a working mother with children aged three to 14 years. While my husband and I are at work, our two foreign maids care for the children. The senior maid worked for us for slightly more than two years, but on Oct 16, I had to send her back to the employment agency immediately.

My 12-year-old daughter called me, close to tears, to recount how this senior maid hit my six-year-old son on the head with a toy, twice, for refusing to take a nap. It was 1.30pm, and he had returned from school half an hour earlier.The maid found him playing with his toy on the bed, and not sleeping as she had instructed. Did she have the right to hit my son?

It made me angrier when, after repatriating her to Indonesia, my son revealed to me that she would often hit him for the slightest mistakes. She used to push his head and pinch him on the chest whenever he misbehaved. She called him stupid for not putting on his socks correctly. My son was terrified and opened up to me only after the maid left. She was crafty, showing exemplary behaviour in my presence and abusing him while I was not at home. I feel guilty, not only because I did not protect my son, but also because I trusted the maid with my children.

I am sure she will easily gain employment with another agency. What can I do to prevent this maid from caring for children again? Is there a channel for employers to give feedback, so that such maids can be barred from working in Singapore? Who safeguards the employers' interests? Surely not the agents. I had to pay for the maid's airline ticket home, or agree to transfer her to another unfortunate employer. And I am sure, if I had lost my temper and hit the maid, it would have been reported as maid abuse.

Source:  Shocking video: Maid kicks, kicks and kicks child, Apr 2009, Malaysia
A video on Stomp of a maid physically abusing a young child has shocked and outraged netizens.

The contributor of the video said this actually happened to the child of his sister's friend.

The case in the video happened in Malaysia in 2007, and the maid was sentenced to 24 months imprisonment.  In the video, the maid was seen kicking, dragging and stomping on the crying child, while apparently feeding another.
After the video was posted, my paper conducted a poll which found that 15 of 20 young parents do not trust domestic workers enough to leave their children alone with them.

Source:  Maid used family flat as brothel, 2009Madam Arumugam Susie, 62, a hospital clerk, claimed that her checks showed that her maid, 24, had been using her four-room HDB flat in Moulmein as a 'brothel' of sorts.

The New Paper on Sunday recently reported on maids in Bukit Batok who provide sexual favours for a fee.  It struck a painful chord with Madam Arumugam, the mother of a 12-year-old girl, when she discovered about three weeks ago that her maid - whom she had treated 'like my daughter'- had betrayed her trust.

After being alerted by the tenant, who has been living there since last November, Madam Arumugam told the maid to clean under the bed in front of her.  Under the bed was a used condom and a torn condom wrapper, which the maid tried to slip into her pocket. But her sharp-eyed employer caught her.

'When I saw the used condom, I felt like vomiting,' said Madam Arumugam, who has employed the Indian maid for four years.  When her husband, Mr SGurunathan, 61, self-employed, questioned the maid, she admitted she had bought the condoms.

The maid also allegedly admitted that about three to four men, all Indian nationals in the construction line, had visited the flat and paid her $20 to $30 for sex each time.  The trysts supposedly happened during the day while the couple and their daughter were out.  Madam Arumugam said: 'What if my daughter had come home early from school one day and found them naked? Would they have harmed her to silence her?'

Madam Arumugam said she treated the maid from Tamil Nadu in India very well.  Apart from a monthly salary of $340, she bought the maid a $200 gold chain and took her on family vacations to Malaysia about twice a year.  The maid was always polite and well-behaved, so she never suspected her of any wrongdoing.

Madam Arumugam said: 'I was heartbroken. I trusted her. How could she use my home to prostitute herself?'

Source:  Non-responsive maid 2008
Lazy maid, pretend to be 'dead'.  
MOM and activists should give FDW a chance to be nominated for Best Actress Award.

Source:  Maid from Nation 2008

Source:  Recycled bad maid  2007
I had a maid once, she was so good that she can handle everything before I asked her to do. Everything was so perfect until her contract end, I got to change another new maid... That's the problems comes. Change & change & change, none of them is good. The maid can just sleep through out the whole day, did not do anything, whatever my child request from her, she just scold and hit her. I did not know until she had left. My child told me that she threaten her not to tell us.... Actually it is the agent fault cos the agent told lies that the previous owner don't want her because of the old people. Cos old people is more stubborn & etc. She loves children.. this & that, at the end, actually she had a fight with the madam. She told me that she is a very stubborn girl and don't like to take instruction.

How do we, the employers show that we really paid a lot for FDWs but not fairly protected by law?  How do we get MOM and activists to recognise the fact that foreign domestic workers (FDW) are a necessity in some households?  How do we feedback to MOM we are victimised by maid agencies, maids and embassies? Also, MOM may tweak its policy if more voices are received from employers.   Employers in Spore, I suggest you
email MOM to : mom_fmmd@mom.gov.sg or write in to
Ministry of Manpower, 18 Havelock Road, Singapore 059764 with your real name and ID. 


  1. i employed a maid to help me out after my first kid becos i wanted to give 100% to my kid and now after 2 kids (and i'm expecting a third one!) and i think 5 maids later, i have countless horror stories to tell!

    my first one had attitude problems...she never once greeted me and when i told her to do something, she never answers me and sometimes even pretended not to hear me call her? think that is their common traits...all become "deaf" when they come and work here...and the worst part? when we brought her to a relative's house for a party, she actually left the house without informing anyone and we had to wait for her to come back before we could leave! that was the last straw and i couldn't take her irresponsibile behaviour so i send her back to her agent...the second maid was a "big" eater...she loves to hide half-eaten food in her room, like a half-eaten chocolate bar or a half-eaten apple in the cupboard...the only way i found out is when her room started to invite alot of ants...and she actually stole my money to go and buy titbits when most of the time, her snacks are all half-eaten and hidden in the cupboard!

    the third one was married with a young kid, and i though it would make her more responsible but it made her homesick instead! she cried on the second day she came and wanted to go home! i saw that she was becoming depressed so i send her back to her agent and asked for a replacement...her agent had no choice but to replace her but told her that she had to wait for two weeks for the new maid arrive then she could go home...she agreed but during this period of time, she made friends with my mum's maid and the two of them had a great time wearing my clothes and taking pictures with it! worse...they actually invited their friends home to take pictures too! and she actually stole my undergarments though she is double my size!

  2. the fourth one was the best...she really loved my kids and though she is a little slow, she will still finish her chores no matter what...but sadly after 2 years, she had to go home to get married so i couldn't ask her to stay on...

    and now with the current one...i also get a big headache...she always lies and actually eats my children's fod when she feeding them! she doesn't eat any overnight food (so i'm the one eating it!) and i actually caught her wearing my nail polish!...i am so tempted to send her back but my family members ask me to bear with her if not i would have to waste my time training another one...

    i feel so frustrated so i have to air my discomfor out...i know it looks like a privillege to be able to employ a maid but when you get one who gives u more problems than helping you, then you get a big headache... it is certainly not worth employing a maid. I have 3 kids! how to work full time and then rush home do the chores as well as spend time with my children.

  3. I never thought I'd be posting here! I used to be a big champion of FDW rights - and even volunteered briefly at an org that worked on their behalf!
    Anyway abt 5 months ago we got an indo fdw to help with household chores. I don't have any relatives here to help with lil one in an emergency; plus I have some minor (but bothersome) health concerns. I'm a homemaker so she doesn't need to take care of baby (except for brief intervals when I shower. Also takes lil one for a walk - within the compound downstairs). She said she'd worked at 2 places b4 (each abt 3-4 months). Didn't have a hp and was homesick; so 1st thing we did was get her a phone (she bought it with her money but we took her to the store; helped her select etc). BIG mistake. We also gave her 4 offdays since there's not much work here. Mistake no 2.
    It started when I found she had a bangla bf (despite being married with 2 kids back home). I actually wanted to send her back to the agent right away. Hubby even took an half day and came home to help dispatch her. However she literally fell on her knees; begged, pleaded and cried. My mother also told me to give her a chance. Despite his objections I convinced hubby to do so. We let her stay on the grounds that she wld have no hp and no offday (I'd pay in lieu). She agreed to all the terms very happily. Let her stay. Mistake no 3.
    Barely two months later I found she had got herself an hp and her bf was around. She started giving me attitude to get offdays. I had a calm chat with her. Told her if she wanted off so badly she could find an alternate employer who was ok with it. Said she was leaving for indo in four months so no point. I allowed the hp but not off. (I'm not being her moral judge - I just don't trust these characters and I don't want someone who lives in my house to go around with strange men. She also brought some items that she said a 'friend' had given at one point. Who know if they were stolen?) Ppl can argue that maids need to be allowed the freedom to live their personal lives. However what I've discovered since becoming an employer is that the situation we (employers) are in is very difficult because the person actually lives in the same house. Everything they do has a direct impact on us - more so than in any other employer/employee relationship. If they have affairs with dicey characters - all of us are in danger. I've always followed my instinct; and my instinct's telling me her bf is a very shady character. Also; I see that she's very jealous by nature. We have a happy family life; and whenever she sees the three of us together her face 'blackens' - esp if we're in a very happy mood. If hubby and I have even a small fight she looks thrilled. If we buy anything special or even order in she looks jealous (even though we always order something special for her as well. We're vegetarian and she's not so we get a chicken or fish something for her). So far she's ok with baby - but I don't send the lil one out with her (even just downstairs) alone anymore (cos of her shady friend).
    I will be sending her off soon; but I'm forced to wait till after CNY bcos the agency won't have anyone to look after her if I give her now (and say they won't be responsible if she runs away during that time).
    She somehow finds some excuse to meet her friend (she says it's a girl) at least for a few min on Sunday. Like today she said she owed her friend some money and wanted to pay back - and her friend was coming just near to collect. I can't wait to get rid of her and this is absolute torture; but I have to bear with this for two more weeks!

  4. After reading all these horror stories, I've one less horrific one to share.
    I have just sent my first maid (A) back to the agency. The wife found her cosmetics in A's cosmetic bags. My one and only perfume included. This is my first maid and naturally we tried to be nice. On A's first day, the wife offered 2 jars of cosmetics creams not in use to her. The very next day A came out sporting colorful painted nails. I even complimented her. The wife was intrigued but mentioned that nail polish is easily affordable. Ok. The very week A had her first off day (nothing much to do anyway). Came back sporting eye shadows, lipstick, fake eyelashes dressed in a mini skirt. The wife was unhappy about the dressing. When i asked about the eye lashes, A said she bought them. Ok no problem, she had an advance of 25 dollars anyway. Second week brought her to universal studios. Even offered her a beer. Caught a whiff of familiar perfume. No big deal. There can be coincidences. Start of third week, answered back, showing attitude to the wife. Huge nono. Got reprimanded. The wife gave one more chance. Brought kid and maid to poliwogs, indoor playground. All the time asking if maid was hungry, would she like a soda, a burger etc. Talked back to me. When I'm hungry I let you know. Ok no problem. I'm a guy. I don't care. My friends noticed all this, too polite to mention anything to me. Received a message from the wife. Wife has been doing a room inspection. Initially I was upset. Hey, A deserves privacy. Argued with the wife. Asked for overwhelming proof. Images were received. I was at a loss of words. 2 fake eye lashes in their original packaging, mascara, eye shadow x 2, distinctive invisible bra strap, unique nail polish, unique lipstick and finally my perfume. Now I was pissed off. Even so. I found excuses for her. Maybe they were at the same table where the wife offered cosmetics. Miscommunication could happen. I'll try to hint to her that trust and attitude are big things with us. I tried. I really tried. The next night, A went to shower. Room inspection followed. More pilfered items. I'm upset. I'm pissed off. Its the start of the bloody fourth week. Compared A's used eye lashes with wife's. Exact match. Coincidence? No cigar. Wife buys them in cartons. Out of production for many years. Not local product, cannot be found locally. Saddened, chatted with poliwog friends. Their comments, our maid thought she was your wife. Reason: painted nails, makeup, ignoring you, attitude. All these I simply closed one eye. Friends didn't even like the look of A from the start. Wow. I'm a dumb one. Visited agent the very next day. Asked him to come pick her up and to bear witness to the thievery. Agent couldn't even defend her. Sent get packing the same night. She even tried to get me into trouble by stating that I've mentioned to her that whatever she needs she just take. I'd wondered if she needed a thousand bucks would she take it from my wallet then? (Not that I have a thousand nor a wallet)
    Tried to deny every single item, even with overwhelming proof. Failed to mention, very spectacularly confident when opening the door for inspection.

    This worthless garbage that betrayed my trust had costed me 3 thousand dollars more for a new maid. I hope she burns in hell, being that she is a Christian. Apparently she started stealing from day 1.

    I'm sorry to say due to this thieving undeserving person, the next domestic worker, would have a harder time and lesser trust. I'm sorry for the long rant about some small items. You'd probably despise me. But I'm big on trust. And I needed a place to vent.

    Thank you for reading this.

  5. In Canada, you are only allow to applied for a foreign live-in nanny if you have children or other dependents that must be cared for.

    I think Singapore will benefit from similar rules, you are only allow to applied for FDW if you need one: 1. You have a dependent that needs live-in care, 2. You don't make enough income to afford hiring a local! Ex-pats should benefit the local economy by hiring and paying well local Spore maids instead of FDW - Spore maids need the money more because Spore living expenses are higher.

    Kids are fragile and can die, have died, when they have been thrown - instead of 33 months, the maid caught smothering the baby with the pillow should have been charged with attempted murder - so what she's only 16? She's a psychopath! I babysit my toddler cousins when I was 14 - I would never hit them - only psychopaths would beat babies. I did make childish mistakes like letting my cousin crawl on the stairs - thinking he would be safe as long as I was crawling behind him - well he fell forward, cried like he broke something - I would have called 911 in a panic but his mom was upstairs, and figures out that he was fine - but yes - young people shouldn't be caregivers because of ignorance - at the point of abuse however - that's malice, intentional harm - should be jailed for years and years.

    It's easy to make toddlers nap - exhaust them - play with them and they'll go hungry enough to eat or sleep afterwards. I don't think there is a point in making toddlers eat when they are hungry - unless they have a medical issue.

    I cannot believe that the maid who tried to kill the baby with the drano was out after 8 years! The kid was still disabled after 13 years - the maid should be made to garnish all her future wages to the kid!

    A 6am to 9pm workday however, is definitely too long, the maid isn't lazy, she's overworked and tired - tired workers don't make good workers. The biggest issue I read in these entries are definitely working conditions. The minimum wage should NOT be raised; 1. people hire FDW because they are too poor to afford locals, it would be a hardship, 2. maids come from poor countries with low cost of living, and should actually have ZERO living expenses during her employ - with rent and food covered, she can bring home a lot of money and live well! A phonecall a day to family shouldn't cost much.

    I think the situation would be better for employer and employee, if the monthly wage was actually made /lowered/ in cases where the working hours are reduced - this way the maid could rest and the employer can have enough money left to hire a sitter - of course, employer shouldn't have to pay if maid got knocked up or killed due to her own choices!

    In Hong Kong, a rule has been made to prevent maid hopping - no more switching more than 3 employers.

  6. Growing up and seeing all the FDWs' traits and personalities, some are just horrible. I agree that we must treat them like babies and teach them everything step-by-step as what may be obvious to us may not be to them. However, what I cannot stand are the FDWs who act blur. Ask them to write down the instructions (be it in their own language or in english) and they'll still tell you they dont know what to do.

    There was one particular maid who made the entire household so mad with her. She say she can remember the instructions and dont need to write them down. We believed her as we had a previous maid who could do that. But in the end, everything was cooked or done wrongly. So we told her to write it down, but the next day she would still act blur. Constantly breaking stuff and saying 'it broke on its own'. Really? The plates just fall of the table own their own? When we threaten to deduct the amount from her salary, she cried and wailed and promised to do better. Guess what? The very same night she broke another cup.

    She has a very bad attitude and wants to be treated like a baby. It was her first time working as a maid but since she was a housewife and has 2 children, we thought she would be alright. We were totally wrong. In the end we found out that her husband did everything for her, from cooking and cleaning to picking the children up from school. She did nothing. When she came to work for us, she didnt know how to mop or clean dishes. She also lied about her education level, claiming she went to university but actually failed to graduate from middle school.

    She spoils the clothes, bedsheets, cupboards, dishes etc. Its like we cant have nice things because she'll spoil it. We have printed for her (or she has written down) over 40 recipes and she can still claim she doesnt know how to cook it and is too lazy to search for the recipe. Her first answer to any question will either be 'dont have' or 'dont know'.

    She wants day off, handphone, clothes, expensive shampoo. Cant eat left over food or use cheap toothpaste. Dont want to take responsibility for her actions and cry when we threaten to deduct her salary. She even complained that we dont feed her! We've told her before, go handle your own breakfast and lunch when we are at work/school. She is here to make our lives easier, not to be pampered like a child. Do you think we have the time to call every day to ask 'have you bathed/eaten/done the housework?' Mind you, there is not much to do around the house apart from cleaning, washing the car (alt days) or cook for my grandmother (sometimes). My grandmother is not invalid, she can take care of herself but is too old to do cleaning etc. My grandmother is forgetful, she'll cook something on the stove and walk away. Its so dangerous for her to cook and thats one of the reasons we needed to get a maid. The maid doesnt need to do much. Clean a few bedrooms, cook lunch and dinner, wash and iron clothes, clean the toilet and car. After that, she can do whatever she wants (except leave the house without our permission). She can nap for all we care. But she's so lazy.

    There are some FDWs who want the privileges (and be treated like) of an adult but dont want the responsibility. Our bosses and teachers scold us when our standards are not up to expectation. If FDWs want to be treated like an adult, shouldnt they tahan the scoldings and improve themselves like we would? Why are they allowed to cry foul at every single thing they dont like? If everyone did the same, there would be no such thing as progress. They cry at every single hardship that comes their way and behave so poorly that we HAVE TO BE accountable for their behaviour. If a foreigner comes and causes trouble in SG, they suffer the full consequences. If an FDW does it, she gets a light sentence and we bare the most of the trouble. We need to be accountable for their outings and activities even on their off days. But when we keep their phones during working hours, we are infringing on their rights? WTF.


This blog is not meant for screw-lose activists or loans. My blog aims to gather all FDWs' news scattered everywhere, become a one-stop site for mentally & financially bullied FDWs' employer to beware and learn. Don't pollute this blog with your pro-maid, insensible and selfish comments! Activists posting here are BLIND IDIOTS, IRRITATING freaks and deliberately showing no RESPECT for others... robbing our only breathing space.